Page 23 of Shadow Queen
The commander glanced back at her before leaving the study, then closed the doors behind him.
Mikael’s eyes pierced hers, and she waited, her mind tumbling for what to say. But the anger she expected from him didn’t come. She searched his face, not sure of the emotion behind it. Hurt? Concern?
“You didn’t flee to the North,” he said. His voice was soft, uncertain almost.
She shook her head weakly. “No.”
“Or to Aleon.”
“Why would I go to Aleon?”
“Why would you go to Odepeth?”
Really? For the same reason he went to Odepeth. “Because I wanted answers.”
“Did you get them?”
Not as many as she wanted. “I discovered my father rode a horse of the Wild, the same as I do.”
Mikael shifted back in surprise. “How? What does this mean?”
She wished she knew. “I don’t know.”
“The seer told you this?”
Norah shook her head. “No, someone else I met along the way.” She frowned. “The seer couldn’t help me.”
“We told you he wouldn’t see you.”
Patronizing. “Well, he did see me,” she cut back, and his eyes widened. “I saw the visions. Bhasim showed me everything.”
“Bhasim?”
She narrowed her eyes. “You go to this seer, and you don’t even know his name?”
He didn’t have an answer for her.
Now who was being patronizing, she chided herself. She looked to the ground, drawing in a deep breath and letting it out slowly. “I asked if he could unlock my memories.”
He stilled, so still it seemed unnatural. Like he wasn’t even breathing. Was he afraid of her getting her memories back?
“He couldn’t,” she said.
Mikael’s shoulders loosened. But his face… it held… a disappointment. A sadness. Was he sad for her that she didn’t get what she was searching for, even though he was afraid of it? Her chest tightened. At least now he knew she hadn’t fled back to Mercia—she hadn’t just left him.
“But he showed me the visions,” she told him. And now it was her turn to feel sadness for him. “I won’t deny that they’re… terrifying. I understand what you fear. And to be honest, I fear it too. But Mikael, something’s wrong. That isn’t Alexander.” She shook her head. “I don’t know who that man is, but it isn’t him.”
He didn’t speak; he only stepped closer.
Her eyes welled, and she cursed herself. Why was she getting so emotional? Maybe it was the exhaustion, the frustration, the fear that she wouldn’t get her memories back. Maybe it was the fear that the vision of Mikael would be true. But she knew in her heart it couldn’t be.
He lifted her chin so that her eyes met his. “After the seer, where would you have gone? Back to the North?”
She didn’t know where she would have gone, but she knew she couldn’t run. She wanted to go back to Mercia, but if she returned in flight, she risked war. She couldn’t do that. And if she was completely honest with herself, she didn’t want to leave Mikael. Slowly, she shook her head.
“Why?”
“For the same reason you swore the commander to me.” To protect the peace.
