Page 153 of Shadow Queen
“I’m not angry,” he said, with angry eyes.
“Well, I’m not avoiding you,” she lied.
He shifted back on his heel. “At dinner you didn’t speak.”
“Younever speak at dinner.”
“But you do,” he said. “And you usually say at least one cheeky comment to me. But you didn’t.”
She stopped. She’d thought he never paid her any mind at all.
His voice came softer now. “I thought when we parted… at the hillside house… we were well.”
“We are well. It’s not that. I mean, itisthat, but…” Why was this so hard to talk about?
“Then why do you avoid me?” he asked.
“Because I’m ashamed!”
He quieted and stood awkwardly. Or maybe it was she who was awkward. This whole situation was awkward.
“Why are you ashamed?” he asked. “You’ve done nothing. We did nothing.”
“No, but I had decided to. Mikael had resigned to leave it alone, and it wasIwho brought it up again.Ichose you.” She rubbed her forehead with stiff fingers. “I obviously thought about everything, thought about being with you. So, to have thought about it, to have those intentions, and now to walk around trying to pretend like nothing ever happened…” She shook her head as she gave a self-scoffing laugh to keep herself from growing emotional. “But now you know. And Mikael knows. And he’s barely looked at me these past few days. He doesn’t come to our bed. So what’s left to feel but shame?”
Soren sighed and pulled down his wrap as he looked around the room. He moved slowly to the windows and looked out over the courtyard.
Norah waited. But he said nothing. Was he just going to stand there?
“You asked me what the seer showed me,” he said finally. “In Odepeth. You asked me what I kept hidden. It wasn’t your death.” His breath came uneasy now. “It was… of me… with a lover.”
Oh. She tried to form words with her mouth, but none would come. Her heart raced faster, and she swallowed. “Who?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know. I’ve never seen him before.”
“Hammel’s hell,” she breathed, and let out a laugh.
He looked back at her with his brows drawn together. “Why do you laugh?”
“Because I thought you were going to sayme.”
His face twisted. “Why would you think it wasyou?”
She laughed again. “You don’t have to act so disgusted.”
“Youwere the one who wouldn’t bedme.”
Fair, but… “Well, you told me the vision was of you killing me, and if it wasn’t killing me, then my mind just thought it was something else having to do with me. And we just, almost, you know…” She stopped and narrowed her eyes. “Wait, this entire time you were okay with letting me think you were going to kill me?”
He let out a long breath but didn’t answer.
“That was an asshole thing to do, you know.”
Soren glanced down. “I know. But it was the only thing that came to mind in the moment.”
“Really?” she asked angrily.
“You kept pressing me. What else could I say?”
