Page 127 of Shadow Queen
“I can’t go.” He gripped Adrian’s shoulder. “Please. Brother. If things go poorly in the Shadowlands, I need you to get her out. I need you to protect her.”
Adrian’s mouth opened slightly, with words that wouldn’t come, then he said finally, “Of course. Of course, I’ll go. But she’ll also have Caspian.”
Alexander gripped him tighter. “She needs you too.Ineed you with her.” Caspian couldn’t protect her alone. Adrian was still young, but his skill with a sword rivaled the best of Mercia, and Adrian knew what Norah meant beyond her role as queen. Adrian knew what she meant to Alexander. He would keep her safe.
Norah made her way to the courtyard where the lord commander waited. The Crest sat ready on their mounts, with a new unit of Northern soldiers prepared to march as well. Soren had even arranged for the pirate wards to come with them, not trusting Mercia to retain them.
Alexander walked with Adrian to his horse. She’d been most surprised that Alexander had allowed him to come. She wondered how Adrian had talked him into it.
Alexander clasped arms with his brother, saying words she couldn’t hear, then he pulled him into a tight embrace. Norah’s heart hurt. She felt like she was taking everything from him.
She stood quietly as he approached her. The blue of his eyes was dull and somber. For a moment, she didn’t think she could leave. She wasn’t sure when she would see him again, or even if she would see him again. She had no intentions of returning to Mercia, and…
“You can’t return to Kharav again,” she whispered. Her throat wouldn’t give her the voice.
He nodded.
She wanted to hug him one last time, to put her arms around him, but she didn’t. “Goodbye, Alexander.” She thought she might choke on the words.
“Goodbye, Norah.” So cold, with finality.
She mounted Sephir, then looked at her grandmother, who stood at the top of the stair. Catherine had embraced her stiffly inside. It was everything Norah could do to not break. Did everyone she loved hate her now?
The remnants of her heart barely beat in her chest, and she urged Sephir on and away.
Outside the city, Norah stopped and gave one last look to Mercia as Soren pulled his horse up beside her.
“Can it be now?” she whispered.
“Can what be now?”
She turned to him with tears in her eyes. “The vision the seer showed you. If it’s to be, let it be now.”
The army moved relatively quickly, and Norah was glad for it. She was desperate to get back to Kharav. She traveled with a new unit of Northmen, absent Titus, who she’d left back in Mercia with his new wife.
Norah rode in silent sorrow. It was hard to imagine a life without Alexander. And her guilt ate her. She hadn’t let him love someone else, and she’d ruined his hope for happiness. Norah added the weight of the council’s disappointment, her grandmother’s disappointment, and the hidden enemies she was no closer to finding and no closer to stopping. And now returning to Mikael with no happiness in her heart and no child, she couldn’t hold the tears that ran down her cheeks.
Soren moved his mount beside her, drawing close, but still looking ahead. “You bring the young bear back with you. It’s unexpected.”
Adrian.
She nodded. “I know. I’m surprised Alexander let him come. But I’m glad.”
He held out a small cloth, still not looking at her. “And you have your captain. And the mute and the girl are waiting for you back in Kharav. Salar waits for you.”
She took the cloth. She knew what he was doing, this destroyer of men. He was trying to make her feel better. And he did. She watched him, sitting on his destrier like a foul-tempered seraph, and she felt the smallest of smiles through her tears.
He eyed her irritably. “Wipe your face. Tahla can’t see you like this.”
The cool air chilled the beaded sweat on his skin. His panting slowed, and Caspian’s body came back to him again. He brushed his fingers along the length of Tahla’s bare back as she lay nestled against him on a blanket by the river. They’d slipped away from the village as the sun set, away from the music and the ears and eyes of others.
He’d last left her after she’d confessed her love for him—something he’d never expected to hear. Every day, her words ran through his mind again and brought a smile to his face. And now he was back in her arms, his heart was full.
She propped herself on her elbow and swirled a finger over the curve of his chest. “I’ve missed you, Northman.”
And he’d missed her, more than anything.
She rolled back down, laying her head on his shoulder, and looked up to the sky. “Sometimes I feel like we’re Hakah and Umai.”
