Page 117 of Shadow Queen
“I wanted to go over what will likely be discussed in the state session tomorrow,” she said, changing the topic. “Grandmother has let me know there are a few challenges. With the pirates.”
“I’ll handle them,” he assured her.
“Alexander, you can’t take this all on yourself. It’s a challenge for more than one person.”
“I said I’ll handle it.”
Norah wanted to suggest help from the lord commander, but for once her mind controlled her tongue, and she was quiet.
Evening came, and Norah was relieved to be back in her chamber, away from the eyes of judgment. She’d left Vitalia back in Kharav, and she missed her desperately. She could use a bit of sarcasm and support right now. Her Mercian maid Serene was happy to be back, Norah could tell. The girl dashed around the castle in high spirits. Norah felt a pang of guilt. The Shadowlands were too harsh a place for her. She would leave her here in Mercia when she returned to Kharav.
“Did you hear about Titus?” Serene asked as she pulled down the coverlet on the bed.
“What about him?”
“He’s found himself a wife. Well, not a wife yet, but they’re to be married.”
Norah’s eyes widened. “Already? He hasn’t even been back long enough to put his horse away from the journey.”
Serene laughed. “He’s a high-ranked soldier of the queen’s guard, of good lineage. And handsome. He had his pick as soon as word was out that he was looking.”
Yes, she supposed that was how marriages worked around here. “Well, good for him.” If Titus was happy, and his bride was happy, then she was happy for them.
“Any word of the lord commander?” Norah asked as the maid busied herself drawing a bath.
“No, Regal High.”
Norah felt an anxiousness creeping in. Hunting wouldn’t be as it was in Kharav. She knew they’d have to ride far, but not a whole day, and it was unlike the commander to be away from her for so long.
“The lord justice still looks for Lord Adrian as well,” Serene added. “He’s getting worried.”
Norah’s stomach knotted. “You… didn’t mention anything, did you?”
“No, Regal High,” Serene assured her.
She nodded as she let out an uneasy breath and prayed they’d return soon. She stripped off her dress, but as she stepped out of her undergarments, her eye caught the spotting of blood on the fabric. Her stomach dropped. Not that she was expecting to be with child, but it occupied her mind occasionally, and she found herself hoping. Daydreaming, even.
“Are you all right, Regal High?” Serene asked.
She nodded, pushing out a breath. “Of course, I just started my bleed and don’t feel very well.”
Serene scooped up her clothes. “Why don’t you get into the bath? I’ll go fetch you some tea. That will make you feel better.” The girl gave her a warm smile and swept out of the room.
Norah stepped into the steaming water and sank down to the bottom of the tub. At that moment, everything flooded her at once: Mercia being home but not home, challenges for which she had no solutions, the fact that her memories were gone forever, the continued tension between Mercia and Kharav, the weight of her kingdom’s disappointment at her every decision… and now there was no child.
And she missed Mikael.
She covered her face in her hands and let the tears come.
Chapter thirty-three
Aknockonthedoor pulled Norah from her thoughts. She had skipped breakfast with her grandmother. Her stomach knotted enough at the thought of meeting with the council; she wasn’t sure she could bear another conversation with Catherine prior to it.
She groaned as she rose from the settee—this was probably Catherine coming to chastise her now.
But Caspian was at the door when she opened it. “Queen Norah.” He bowed. “The lord commander has returned. He asks you to come.”
Thank the gods, he was back, but… “Now? I’m about to go meet the council.”
