Page 167 of North Queen
Norah stood in the library. She stared at the books on the shelves, but she didn’t see them. She couldn’t stay here any longer; she couldn’t be here. Her heart longed for Mercia—its grace, its refinement, its civility. Kharav… Kharav was a kingdom of monsters.
She drew in a deep breath. With this marriage, she kept these monsters from Mercia, she reminded herself. But how much more could she bear?
Norah squeezed her eyes shut and gritted her teeth. She would endure as much as she had to.
The doors opened behind her, and she turned to see Mikael. She cursed herself for lingering too long.
“Salara,” he greeted as he neared. “I’m glad I found you here.”
Norah stepped around a large table, putting it between them. She wasn’t so glad. She didn’t reply.
“Talk to me,” he said.
Fine. “Would you have killed those boys?”
He paused. His hesitation answered for him. She knew he wanted to move her past it, but she couldn’t. These weren’t things she could turn a blind eye to.
“I would have released them,” he said. “If you’d asked me to.”
“And if I wasn’t there to ask?”
Mikael walked slowly around the side of the table. “Will you judge the man in front of you, instead of the one in your mind?”
“Because the one in front of me is so much better?” she cut back, moving so the table stayed between them.
Mikael’s brow creased, and then he sighed. “I don’t want things to be like this between us. I do care for you, Salara.”
The fire of her fury died down ever so slightly, but she didn’t want it to die. She told herself she’d change things—she had to change things. And it would start by the lord commander being held accountable. “What will you do about him?” she asked. “What will you do about your commander?”
“I’ve spoken to him.”
“That’s not enough.”
He looked down, and then nodded. “All right.”
She hadn’t expected him to agree. Was he agreeing? “You’ll deal with him?” she asked.
“I will. These things won’t happen again.”
But relief didn’t come. She didn’t entirely believe him.
“Are you on your way out?” he asked.
She looked down at the books in her hand and then toward the door. She knew what he would ask if she said yes.
But he didn’t wait for her reply. “Can I walk you?”
He moved to the end of the table where she stood, and he held his arm for her. He was trying, she told herself. She did want him to try.
And she had to try too, for Mercia.
Slowly, she slipped her arm under his. He put his hand over hers and started them toward her sanctuary. They walked in silence, but there was a calm in his touch, a warmth. It wasn’t the touch of a monster. She felt his eyes on her. Her breaths quickened, but she kept her eyes forward.
When they reached the hall to her sanctuary—the boundary—he stopped, turning and looking down at her. “Will you dine with me tomorrow?” he asked.
He was trying. And she would try. Slowly, she nodded.
“Good night, Salara,” he said softly. Then he released her and left her to the quiet of her sanctuary.
