Page 163 of North Queen
She needed to try.
When they reached the door to her sanctuary, he stopped but didn’t release her hand. Nor did she pull it away. His eyes churned like the tempest of a storm. They were dangerous—she could get lost in them. A want tugged at something within. Did she want to get lost in them?No. She couldn’t trust this man. He moved closer, and she leaned back against the door.
“I’m glad you’ve come out,” he said softly. “I’d like to see you out more often. If you want to return to the gardens, or even go for a ride, or if you’d like to simply come dine with me, I’d like that.”
He moved his hand to brush her cheek, a brush that left her skin all too quickly. “Good night, Salara.”
“Good night,” she breathed, and slipped inside her sanctuary.
Chapter forty-seven
Hermindswirledaroundher. Norah sat at her vanity in her sanctuary, reeling in a mix of emotions. She would continue to struggle in the kingdom of Shadows, this kingdom of blood and battle. And what could she do? Could she change this world?
Maybe when Mikael let her closer. She wanted him to. She wanted to be closer.
Was she lettinghimcloser? She still hadn’t told him of her memories; she wasn’t sure why. Maybe telling Mikael meant letting her old self go, and she didn’t want to let go. With Mikael… she feared she would lose herself more, in this dark world. This world wouldn’t help her find herself. She had nothing of who she was before to remind her, except Alexander. And if he could, Mikael would take Alexander from her. But Alexander was hers. She needed to protect him, to protect the person she used to be.
But still she wanted to tell him. She wanted Mikael closer. The divide between them tore at her. She chastised herself for hinging her happiness on her relationship with the king, but these feelings were complicated. This marriage wasn’t for love, she reminded herself. This was a marriage that would protect her people. She should be happy if she could achieve civility with a solid alliance. Why wasn’t she happy? Mikael was working to mend things between them. Why wasn’t it enough?
Why was her heart asking for more?
Norah decided a ride would help clear her head. She’d slipped into the stables to visit the mare a few times now, but the animal needed to go out beyond the stall and the paddocks. And Norah had been hiding away in her sanctuary too long; she needed out too. Mikael had suggested a ride, and it was a good idea, although he probably meant the two of them together. She’d overlook that. She felt bolder now that Mikael was trying to resolve the distance between them, bold enough to go by herself. To her surprise, her guard didn’t object. Perhaps Mikael had leashed his commander.
Norah found the mare happy to see her, and she smiled. She saddled the horse herself before mounting and breathing deep the air of near freedom. “Let’s go,” she told the mare, and urged her from the back gates of the castle and into the hills. The Crest followed close behind. She was glad the Mercian guard had gone with Caspian and that she didn’t have them both to contend with.
The mare didn’t need encouragement and stretched out into a gallop. They took the south side out of the castle to keep out of the city and headed to open lands.
They rode well into the late morning, and Norah felt a strength returning. Despite the winter cold, the freedom warmed her. It was the first time she’d been outside the castle grounds, her first time away from the king and the commander.
At the top of a hill, Norah slowed the mare, smiling back and waiting for her guard to catch up.
“Salara, please,” Kiran called to her. “Will you not keep closer to us?”
“I’m sorry.” She grinned. “It just feels so good to be out.”
His eyes smiled back from underneath his wrap. “I know what you mean.”
Suddenly his face changed as his gaze shifted to something in the distance, and Norah followed it to see rising smoke against the sky.
“What’s that?” she asked.
“Likely a camp. Outsiders. Not Kharavian.”
“Who then?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know. But let’s get you back, and I’ll send forces to investigate.”
Norah had no intention of being stuffed back into the castle. “I’m not going back.” She gave a cheeky smile. “This is my kingdom now. I want to know who visits me.”
“Salara,” he protested.
“Come on!” And she urged the mare forward.
They covered the distance quickly but slowed as they reached the last hill, making their way up with care. When they reached a view of the camp, Norah’s curiosity grew.
Five young men sat around a campfire. Norah put them close to Adrian’s age. She heard their laughter and smiled, appreciating their fun. Then annoyance flashed within her. Who were they, and what were they doing here? They were too young and foolish to be wary of danger approaching. She needed to send them on their way.
“Salara,” Kiran cautioned.
