Page 15 of North Queen
“Now that you’re back, everything will be set right,” Catherine said.
Norah didn’t even know what that meant, but it sounded daunting and only added to her growing anxiety. “I don’t even know what I’m doing here.”
“That will pass, my dear. Your memories will return, but until they do, we have to take care. I want no one to know of your condition.”
“Wait. What? Why?” She couldn’t keep this a secret for long.
“Your circumstance is complicated enough. And we can’t risk anything jeopardizing your path.”
“What path?”
“Don’t worry about it right now. We’ll get you cleaned and rested and fed. Your memories will return, and we’ll sort through everything.”
How could this woman be so calm about this? “How are you so sure?” Something within her snapped. Norah shook her head. “I can’t keep this a secret. I don’t know anyone, I don’t know myself, or how I should be or what I should say. I don’t even know what to call you. I’ve woken up in this world with all these expectations, and everyone’s going to quickly discover I’m a fraud.” It was hot in the bath now. Too hot.
“Oh, child,” the regent said as she clasped Norah’s shoulder. “Somewhere inside, you have over twenty years of ladyship ground into you. I saw to it myself. And all young rulers know nothing. No one will think you’re a fraud. You’re Evanya’s daughter, and my granddaughter. There’s no doubt.”
But Norah had a lot of doubt.
The woman picked up a jar of bath salts and scooped a handful into the water. “Let’s start with simple solutions. You may call mequeen regent, as is appropriate in public. My name is Catherine, as I’m sure you’ve gathered by now, which you may call me privately. Or you may call megrandmotherif you’re comfortable with that. I’ll no longer be queen regent after your coronation—a day I look forward to very much. It’s not right for a kingdom to be without a head for so long.”
A knot formed in her stomach. “My coronation?”
“Of course. Now that you’ve returned, you’ll be queen. I’ve only been queen regent in your absence.”
Norah shook her head again. She couldn’t be queen. She knew nothing of this place, of these people; she knew nothing of ruling. “I can’t be queen,” she said. No.No, she couldn’t do this. She swallowed. The air was suffocating. “This can’t be right. I shouldn’t be here.” She reached for the towel and moved to rise.
Catherine clasped her shoulders firmly, stopping her and forcing Norah to look at her. “Child, I know this is overwhelming, terrifying even. But you’re strong. You always have been. And I’m by your side, and I’ll guide your every step. For now, we’ll take one thing at a time. You will get through this. Do you understand?”
Norah drew in a breath. The regent’s words were firm, sharp even, but not uncaring. It was what Norah needed to stave off her panic. Ever so slightly, she nodded—not a nod of agreement, but a nod of settling.
The woman’s hands softened, but still held her.
One thing at a time. She could do one thing at a time, with Catherine beside her. And Alexander.One thing at a time.“I think I’d like to call you grandmother.”
Catherine smiled. “I’d like that.”
Chapter five
Insidehischamber,Alexanderhung his belt and sword on the wall and pulled off his armor, but it wasn’t the weight of the steel plating that had been sitting heavily on him.
He played it back in his mind—seeing her in the forest, calling her name. The sting of her not knowing him hurt more than any battle wound.
So many ways he’d imagined how their reunion might have gone. Mostly joyous. Sometimes he imagined her angry with him, perhaps still hurt, but in each dream, he’d held her in his arms again. But for her to feel nothing… He hadn’t imagined that.
Perhaps it was better this way. Things could never be as they were before, but now it was as though he’d truly lost her, and he didn’t think he could bear it.
Alexander lumbered toward his bed. His legs didn’t feel like his own. He sank down with a grimace, then he covered his eyes with his hand. It had been a long time since he’d shed any tears, so long he couldn’t remember when. But they flowed freely now, and he let them come.
He hadn’t been able to keep his pain hidden from Catherine. She’d raised him; she knew him like her own blood. And while the queen regent loved him, he’d seen the warning in her eyes. No doubt she would see this as an opportunity for Norah to start new. She would try to convince him to do the same. But that wasn’t possible.
And he’d have to find a way to support Catherine. She’d spent more than twenty years preparing Norah’s free spirit for the obligations of the crown, but now everything was gone, and what had taken twenty-five years would need to be rebuilt in days—another feat he wasn’t sure was possible.
A knock on the door pulled him back, and he straightened, collecting himself. Alexander ran his hand over his face, wiping away his emotion, and rose to answer. He opened the door to find the captain of the guard.
Caspian nodded in greeting but paused as their eyes met. Alexander suspected he saw the remnants of his sorrow, but the captain graciously offered no mention of it.
He stepped back into the room, leaving the door open for Caspian to enter. Alexander wasn’t one to show emotion, and few men other than Caspian had seen him outside his calm and pensive nature. They’d fought together, bled together, won together, lost together. They were more than comrades, more than friends. They were like brothers. Still, Caspian wasn’t one to pry, but he knew what Norah’s return meant to Alexander, and he needed to know the situation.
