Page 87 of Lead Me On
This was uncomfortably close to a conversation they’d had years before, and Jane’s neck tightened with remembered tension.She’s a good woman. She might not have been the perfect mother, but she did her best.
Her best.
Across the yard Jane’s mom pulled Jessie into her arms and held him tightly. When Jane had been little, her mom had held her like that, too. Then Jane had discovered anger and bitterness and rage, and a good portion of that had been directed at her mom. And after the bitterness and rage had gone, there’d been guilt.
Somehow Jane had never been able to bridge the gap she’d created. “I know she’s a good woman,” she murmured. “It’s just hard for me.”
“I know.”
She’d never understood how Mac could comfort her with so few words. He was a simple man, yet he’d always understood her most complicated feelings.
“You want a beer?” he asked, divining her deepest need once again.
“Heck, yes,” she said with a sigh.
He reached into the cooler, twisted off the top and pressed the icy wet bottle into her hand. Mac to the rescue once again.
“Thank you,” she breathed.
Before she’d gulped a quarter of the bottle, she heard the sound of a door slamming above the Eagles music blaring from the kitchen window. When the two new party guests walked around the side of the house, Jane was darn glad she had a beer.
“What ishedoing here?” she gasped.
Her mom shouted a hello from the far side of the yard. “Oh, the Chases are here. I’m so glad you could make it. Thank you so much for everything you did for Jessie.”
Chase made the rounds, shaking hands, introducing everyone to his dad.
He looked right at home as he strolled past the skeletons of dead bikes lined up along the shop wall. Totally comfortable as he shook hands with Mac.
When his father stopped to grab a beer and stand over the grill with Mac, Chase continued the last few feet toward Jane. “Hello, Miss Jane.”
“Did my mom invite you?”
“Yep.”
“I’m sorry. This party is kind of…inappropriate.”
Chase opened his mouth as if he’d say something, then glanced toward Jessie and seemed to change his mind. “Your mom is relieved, and she should be. Your brother has the chance to turn his life around.”
Jane shook her head. “I don’t know. He’s a convicted thief now. I worry that… My stepfather was wrongly convicted. The state never acknowledged it, but the evidence is clear. He didn’t do it. But Jessie did. He’s a criminal. A thief. I’ve never known any thieves who went on to good futures, have you?”
“I…” Chase’s head cocked as he frowned down at her. “I’m sure…”
Jane waved her hand. “Don’t worry about it. It could’ve been so much worse. Thank you for bringing your father in to help us.”
He took a deep breath. “Dad was happy to do it, and it was good for him.”
They both watched as his dad twisted open a second beer. He’d made quick work of the first. Jane winced. “Maybe he could work for Ms. Holloway as an investigator.”
“Maybe,” he said, then shook his head. “He doesn’t have a driver’s license, and he can’t do that kind of work without one. Anyway, it would get boring after a while, and then… You know what? I’ve come to realize that I can’t fix him, so I try not to think about it.”
“How did you manage that? Getting over his drinking?”
“I don’t know if I’m over it. I guess I… A few years ago I was in a long-term relationship. She needed to move to Utah and I let her go, because I was afraid to leave my dad. I’d taken care of him from the time I was nine, and I couldn’t leave.”
Jane just nodded. She had no idea what to say. It felt strange to imagine Chase in love with some unknown woman. Holding hands and watching movies and taking her out for explosion dates. It felt more than strange. It felt awful.
“Frankly, I was kind of a mess last year. I was so worried about my dad that I couldn’t sleep. I felt guilty when I didn’t see him, but when I did he’d ask me to bring beer. Then my stomach would hurt at the thought that I was helping him kill himself. I went to a few Al-Anon meetings, and things have gotten clearer. Now I see him, but I won’t bring beer. I don’t feel great about it, but I feel better.”
