Page 117 of Lead Me On
“Oh?”
She shrugged and stopped ten feet away from him.
This was it, he thought, tension winding through his muscles.
She glanced toward the west, where the sun was beginning to sink behind ragged peaks of snow-covered mountains. She tilted her head toward his truck. “Want to sit with me?”
“Sure.” He thought she’d meant in the cab, but Jane boosted herself onto the hood and settled against the windshield. Chase raised an eyebrow.
“I like it up here. And the sun’s setting.”
“Okay.” He scooted up next to her, still teetering on the brink of uncertainty. Serious talks could end in many different ways.
Jane took a deep breath. “I love you,” she said simply.
Chase waited. He steeled his heart against her words. She’d said it, but she was fully capable of following that up with abut…
She turned to him and took his hand, a nervous smile playing over her mouth. “I love you.”
“And?”
Her gaze fluttered over his face, and she gave a breathless little laugh. “I love you and I want to be your special gal. If you’re up for that.”
He was squeezing her hand too tight, but when he tried to relax his fingers, he realized it was her squeezing him. “In public?”
“Yes.”
Unwilling to be happy just yet, despite the shout that wanted to rise in his throat, Chase narrowed his eyes at her. “Why?”
“Because I love you. And you know me. And I’m ready. I thought I’d left that girl I hated far behind, but really…really I’ve been sinking deeper into her this whole time. I’ve been a child, hiding from everything that scared me. I’m ready to grow up. I want to not be scared anymore.”
He nodded. “Good. I’m glad. But I don’t want you to use me anymore. I don’t want to be your therapy, Jane.”
Her free hand rose to touch his face, the palm pressing into his skin. Despite his brave words, there was no force in the world that could have stopped him from closing his eyes so he could concentrate on the feel of her hand.
“I won’t deny I need to work through a few things, but I promise I’ll never use you again. I’m sorry for that. I love you so much already, and I’ve been fighting it so hard. I… I want to know how good it feels not to fight you, Chase. I’m sorry for how cruel I’ve been to you. For using you. Can you forgive me?”
“There’s nothing to forgive,” he whispered, turning to kiss her palm. “If you hadn’t used me, I wouldn’t love you right now.”
She pulled him down for a kiss. A soft kiss that didn’t hold any of that familiar, desperate need.
When she leaned back, her smile made her look ten years younger. Younger than she’d ever looked back then. “I lied to you about something, though,” she warned.
“What?”
“I actually am a neat freak.”
“That was kind of obvious. Just don’t sneak any fresh flowers into my place and we’ll be fine.”
They smiled at each other like idiots for a few long seconds, then her eyes shifted to a spot over his shoulder. “How’s your dad?”
Chase shook his head and pulled her against his side so they could watch the sun as it darkened to pink. “He’s looking at brochures for treatment centers again. I think that locksmith being arrested…it kind of shocked him out of a daze. He helped to stop this guy. But don’t get your hopes up for Grandparents’ Day. We’ve been here half a dozen times before.”
“Okay.”
Her head settled against his shoulder. Her fingers loosened their death grip and relaxed in his hand. The sun slid lower.
Chase cleared his throat. “I mean, you can use mesometimes.I don’t want to be maniacal about that.” She laughed and snuggled closer, and Chase finally felt the last of his doubt fall away. “I’ll start growing my hair out so you don’t have to take a guy with a shaved head out to dinner.”
