Page 69 of Everyone Here Is Lying
“I just think it might be better,” her mom says, “if we move away from here. You don’t want to go back to the same school, do you, after this?”
Avery thinks quickly. “What about your job?” she asks.
“I can get another job.”
“What about Michael?”
Her mother nods. “I know. I’ve been thinking about that. But I think he might agree. He won’t want to live in the middle of all this craziness either.” She adds, “It might be the best thing for all of us.”
“For you, you mean,” Avery says.
Her mother is taken aback. “No, Avery, this isn’t about me. It’s about what’s best for you. For all of us.” She urges, “We could make a fresh start, where no one knows us.”
Avery shakes her head. “I don’t want to move.”
“Oh.”
“I mean, the news will just follow us everywhere anyway,” Avery says.
“Not if we don’t let it,” her mom counters. “If we don’t talk to them, it will all die down and we can go on with our lives. You don’t want to live under a microscope.”
There she goes again, Avery thinks,telling me what I want. She doesn’t know what I want.“It doesn’t bother me,” she says, and reaches for another piece of toast. Her mother looks speculatively at her. Avery knows what she’s thinking. She’s thinking that she’s just a child and doesn’t know what she’s doing. But Avery knows exactly what she’s doing.
“I think Ishouldtalk to them,” Avery says.
“What? No, Avery,” her mother says nervously, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why not?”
“Because—because you’re just a child. They’ll exploit you. They’ll take over your life and never leave you alone. They’ll twist everything you say, take things out of context. The press is very powerful—you have no idea what they might do.” She adds in distress, “Whatever they print will follow you forever. You don’t want this to define you.”
“I’m not afraid of them,” Avery says. “I know what to say.”
“Just—no,” her mother insists. “Let’s think about this. Let’s not be rash. You may feel differently in a day or two.”
Avery considers. She can wait a day or two. That might even be better.
•••
Nora leaves the house,taking the car, saying she’s going to pick up some groceries. She doesn’t normally get groceries on a Sunday morning, but nobody says anything. Al studiously ignores her.
She has to get out of the house, with its claustrophobic atmosphere. It makes her want to scream. The kids have picked up on the fact that there’s something seriously wrong between her and their father—they’ve seen the bruise on her face—but they’re afraid to ask. It’s put something of a damper on the celebration of having Ryan home, and Avery being found alive. She will have to tell them about her and William, before they see it in the news. She knows the police are going to hold a press conference at noon today. It willall come out then, why Marion did what she did. Everyone will know. It makes her feel ill.
She’s thinking about William. Where is he? Is he at home? She drives past the Wooler house and sees that there is still a crowd of media milling around outside, waiting for something to happen. She can’t tell if he’s there or not. His car isn’t there, but it might still be with the police or in the garage.
She drives to the Excelsior Hotel, where she knows he’s been staying. Is he there now? There are no reporters here anymore. She parks and sits inside her car. Does she dare go inside? She might as well wear a scarlet letter on her breast. This is a conservative town. People go to church. They have opinions, they judge. She should know, because she’s one of them.
She must decide what she’s going to do, who she’s going to be. She can’t remain married to Al, not after everything that’s happened. Whenever she thinks of him sitting in his car behind the dumpster at the motel, she feels a tide of revulsion. And every time she thinks of how he came home afterward and pretended nothing was wrong, was his usual, detached self, she’s afraid. She doesn’t know who he is at all. She doesn’t know what’s going on beneath that familiar surface.
They hate each other; the poison between them will leach out to their kids. They will all be better off if they separate. If they stay together, they’ll become more twisted versions of themselves. She will have to leave him, or perhaps he will offer to go. It would be better if she stayed in the house with the kids. What if he won’t go? What if he blames her, the scarlet woman, and throws her out? If he does, she will take the children with her. That gives her pause. What if he wants custody of the children? Would he get it? She’snot faultless. Does a woman have to be faultless to keep her children? She doesn’t know. She feels fear in her heart.
William knows now that Ryan had nothing to do with his daughter. She knows that William is blameless—except for falling in love with her. The only thing keeping them apart is their own guilt and shame—and public opinion. Can Nora live with the public condemnation if she chooses William, after the truth about Marion gets out? What about her children?
She sits for a long time, then starts the car and drives home. She can’t do it. She won’t see William again. She has to put her children first now.
Fifty-three
It fills Erin with joy to have her daughter back. She finds herself looking at Avery frequently, just to reassure herself that she’s real. But it’s not as if things have returned to the way they were before. Everything has changed.
