Page 58 of Kill For Me Kill For You
‘Yeah, but we would’ve had to wait for hours. I want to keep moving. And I like the ferry across the Long Island Sound. We should just make the last crossing. It’s really peaceful at night.’
They had coffee and sandwiches in Starbucks in the train station while they waited for their train to Port Jefferson. Scott opened his laptop and started working. He sat across the table from Ruth, so she couldn’t see what he was looking at, just the glare from the screen illuminating his stern face. Ruth took only a few mouthfuls of the sandwich. She was hungry, but her stomach was all tied up with anxiety.
She noticed Scott hadn’t touched his food either. Sweat polished his forehead even though it wasn’t warm in the Starbucks. Scott stood, looked around the coffee shop. Ruth tensed and followed Scott’s eyeline around the room. There was a young couple on the other side of the shop, very much in love, laughing and taking pictures of themselves with their phones. One barista behind the counter.
‘Honey, I need to use the bathroom,’ he said.
Ruth bit her lip, gripped the edge of the table with both hands.
‘I’ll only be a minute, tops. I promise. There’s no chance Travers knows where we are. You’re safe here, okay?’
At first, Ruth couldn’t speak. Her mouth had become cinderblock dry. She took a sip of coffee, and tremulously set the cup back down on the table.
‘Are you sure?’ she asked.
He leaned over, put his hands on her shoulders, said, ‘I’m sure. He couldn’t have followed us. I’ll only be a minute.’
Up close, she could see the strain on his face. A little tremor in the muscles at the corner of his left eye and his skin had turned the pale color of fresh bone.
‘Are you feeling all right? You don’t look well,’ she said.
‘I-I’m fine. Still just a little nauseous from the boat is all. I’ll be quick.’
‘Please,’ said Ruth, pleading with her eyes not to be left alone.
‘It’s okay, honey. You’ll be fine. I’ll just be a minute,’ he said, wiping sweat from his face.
She nodded, and watched him disappear into the bathroom. Ruth told herself she was safe. There were no windows in the Starbucks, and they were seated all the way at the back. She would be fine for just a minute, but it didn’t stop the sole of her shoe hammering against the floor as she gripped the table with both hands.
She looked at the young couple who were laughing and kissing again. Somehow it made her feel better. She turned Scott’s laptop round, just to see what he was doing. Anything to keep her mind from running into bad thoughts. Thoughts that would take over, send her into a frenzy.
He was checking the local news. Two tabs were open. Both on breaking news in New York. Ruth had avoided the news since the attack. She didn’t want to know about people being stabbed, or shot, or murdered. It was all too much. She turned the laptop back round to face where Scott had been seated, and willed him to return – fast.
When Scott came back to his seat, his hair was wet, and he looked a little more composed.
‘I’m going to book an Airbnb, okay?’
Ruth nodded, and Scott continued to tap away on his laptop.
The train to Port Jefferson didn’t take long, and they got another cab to the ferry. The streets of this Long Island town were short, dark and largely deserted. It was such a transition from Manhattan where everyone walked or took the subway. No one walked around here. Everyone drove. They got their tickets for the last sailing, and Scott suggested they take themselves to the top deck again. The air was soothing. Cold as all hell, but at least there were only a handful of people who embarked and all of them sat below in the warmth.
As the ferry made its crossing of the Long Island Sound the lights from Port Jefferson disappeared behind them leaving only the glare from the occasional buoy and, in the distance, the dim glow of life from Bridgeport. The ferry had more passengers than Ruth had expected. It was Thanksgiving in two days’ time, and people were traveling home for the holidays.
Scott looked over the barrier then turned round and winked at Ruth with a smile. He stood there, leaning against the painted white rail, framed by the dark waters behind.
She loved him in that moment. The stress of this had been starting to show. She reminded herself he was doing this for her. To protect her, to make her feel safe. He was agitated as hell and worried about both of them, but he was trying to make her smile in spite of it all – trying to turn this into a fun trip. And for a heartbeat it felt like that. Just for a second, they weren’t running away from a monster – they were running away from themselves and all the pain of these last weeks.
Ruth looked down at her feet, willing her own smile to appear. And, when it did, she lifted her head to Scott.
Only he had his back to her.
And he was no longer wearing his new backpack. It wasn’t by his feet. It wasn’t in front of him.
For a second, she wondered what had happened to it.
Then she heard a faint splash.
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