Page 41 of Kill For Me Kill For You
Amanda felt it all the way down to her shoes.
‘It’s happening,’ said Naomi. ‘And you’re not going to let me down, Amanda. I did it for you. For Jess. And Luis. You’ve gotta do it for me and Rebecca. You talked me into this. You made me promise. And I kept my promise. Now it’s your turn.’
Amanda swallowed, and thought about Crone’s absence from the 96thStreet station, and the fact that he hadn’t shown up this afternoon either. He hadn’t done any of those things because he was dead. Amanda inhaled, shut her eyes and thought that the air itself smelled sweeter.
He was gone.
He couldn’t hurt anyone else, and he’d died in pain. A friend had done this for her and, even though her hands wouldn’t stop shaking, there was a strange peace that fell upon her. Suddenly, she felt free. Terrified and yet free of a demon that had haunted her thoughts every second, for months. It didn’t matter that she hadn’t been there to watch him die. It didn’t matter that she’d not been the one to kill him. What mattered was that he was dead. That was a gift. Could she deny that gift to the one who’d given so much to her?
‘I can feel it,’ said Amanda.
‘You can feel what?’
‘His death. Jesus, I’m so relieved and at the same time I’m really fucking scared.’
‘You should feel good. There’s one less monster in this world. Tonight, you make it two. But I won’t lie – this is going to be more difficult than Crone.’
Amanda was coming around. Instead of processing Crone’s death, she now had to think. Naomi had avenged the murder of Amanda’s daughter. The man who had tortured and killed her six-year-old girl. And that was a release. But she knew it came with a price.
‘Why does it have to be tonight?’
‘It must be tonight, because I just hung my ass out for you. I’ve risked a life sentence. We’re in this together now, in blood. My hands are dirty, and I won’t rest easy until you have blood on your hands too. Then I’ll know you won’t go to the cops. Then I’ll trust you again. You’re going to kill the man who raped and murdered my baby girl. The longer you wait, the harder it will be to do it. Also, you’re not on the police radar right now.’
Amanda felt the world tilting. Now it was as if the entire coffee shop was slowly beginning to rotate. That drunken plan hatched in the hotel bar the other night. It wasn’t just the booze talking. This was really happening. And now Amanda had to kill a complete stranger.
‘Wait, stop. I’m not ready for this,’ she said.
‘You were ready the last time we discussed it. I’m all in. And you’re up.’
Amanda needed more time. To get it all straight in her mind. A few nights ago, in a bar, she had tossed a snowball up a frozen hill and now it was rolling back down, twenty feet high, and it was going to crush her.
‘I need to take some time. I wasn’t expecting this . . .’
‘You don’t have time. It’s simple. All you have to do is pull a trigger.’
‘I don’t have a gun. Not any more. I ditched it just before the cops caught me on the subway.’
Naomi’s head sank to the table. She swore, thought for a moment, then looked at Amanda.
‘All right, then we do it my way. But it has to be tonight.’
‘Why the hell does it have to be tonight? I don’t get it.’
‘Because Quinn has to be dead before they find Crone’s body. It might take another day, tops, for his maid to find him. But know this, once Crone’s body is found, the cops will be all overyou. They’ll bring you in, sweat you for as long as they can and when they do let you go they are gonna be watching your ass twenty-four seven for a long time. Our plan falls to shit if the cops tail you to Quinn’s house next week and arrest you before you can kill him. Come on – you’re not thinking straight.’
That was for sure.
‘Okay, wait a minute. What if we wait until the cops talk to me about Crone’s murder, establish my alibi and leave me alone.’
‘No,’ said Naomi, a little louder than she’d meant. A few heads from nearby tables glanced over at the two women, stared, then went back to their own business.
‘They’ll be on you for a long time. Crone’s father is one of the richest men in this city. Powerful men like that will make sure the police do a thorough job. The police could be on you for months before they give up. No, you have to do this before you come under investigation. I’m at another group tonight. My child-bereavement session. I’m there at nine for an hour. That’s your window. Now, tell me how you feel?’
‘What?’
‘He’s dead. Tell me how that feels.’
Amanda straightened in her chair, said, ‘I honestly don’t know what to feel. Kind of happy, kind of empty. Free. Like someone just hit a reset button on part of my life.’
