Page 22 of Vengeful Devotion
I shrug. “I don’t know yet, mother. But I’m going to find out.”
“An eye for an eye, Declan.”
“I know.”
Those words have been woven into my very soul. Not because I live and breathe them, but because those words remind me of my biggest failure.
“Good. I know you don’t want your mother to hover over you, but you should really shower before you go see Gemma.”
I hesitate for a second, contemplating if I should play it off or admit to what I’m learning. There’s no escaping the pull of Gemma Rossi.
“How did you know?”
“I had a feeling. You look at her the same way your father looked at me in that rinky-dink airport thirty-two years ago. You feel something strong for that girl.”
“I’m not sure what I feel. But don’t go getting excited. Finding her attractive doesn’t need to set off wedding bells in your head.”
She rolls her eyes at me. “She’s in the library. Try to not be a prick to her, okay?”
She gestures me out the door. I almost say I’m sorry, but I hold back. I jog up the stairs, replaying the conversation in my head. I didn’t lie. I’m not sure what I feel, and there’s no guarantee that it is anything permanent. But there’s a little seed of hope, gripping its claws into me. There’s something about Gemma that just makes me want to keep her. I want to own her. I want to vanquish anything that causes her pain. I want to love her. But that’s not something I can do. It’s not something Ishoulddo. Gemma Rossi is not a queen I deserve, but I want to. She makes me want to be a better man, and that’s exactly why I can’t be with her. A better man wouldn’t survive in my world.
CHAPTERNINE
Gemma
Darkness surrounds me.I can feel them crawling all over me, dozens of legs prickling against my skin. Lonny must have let most of his collection out tonight. My throat constricts, my body readying itself for the pain I know is coming. The fear covers my skin in goosebumps, my heart pounding in my chest. There’s no warning before the first sting of venom comes. Tears pool in my eyes as I do my best to keep from crying out. The burning pain radiates from my thigh to my toes.
“You should’ve listened to me, bambina,” Lonny says, his mouth curved into a wicked grin. “Why do you insist on making me hurt you?”
I struggle against the restraints locked onto the bed; the movement causing another scorpion to sting me. This time, I can’t do anything but yell.
“Please, Lonny. I’ll be better.”
“Oh, I love it when you beg for me, bambina.” Lonny moves towards me, shedding his clothes slowly. “But we both know you haven’t learned your lesson. Not yet.”
I jolt awake.The velvet fabric of the chair I fell asleep in catches the tears my eyes are blurry with. I’m no stranger to nightmares. They’ve plagued me since the first night Lonny came into my room twelve years ago. But this one was so real. So vivid. More memory than nightmare. How can I be so far away from my uncle and still feel so shackled to him? The weight of this pain. Of this secret on my chest is so heavy. It just makes me feel like I’ll always be chasing peace without ever finding it.
When my eyes come to focus, my stomach swoops like I’m riding a roller coaster. The first thing I see is Declan, his beautiful eyes filled with concern.
“You were whimpering.”
His voice sends goosebumps down my spine. The soft growl laced between his words makes me feel things that I didn’t know I could. Things that terrify me. My mind and heart war. One begging him to forget all about me. The other desperately begging him to touch me again.
“Why were you whimpering, Gemma?”
My lips are glued together. The dryness making it painful to pull them apart, but I manage. “I-it was a nightmare.”
“Do you have a lot of nightmares?”
“My whole life. Ever since I met…” I let my voice trail off, just barely stopping from mentioning my past. Declan is just so difficult for me to keep my cool around. It’s hard to have enough brain space for me to keep the lies straight.
“Since you met who?”
“No one.”
The sound of his footsteps startles me. I’m quick to stand up. The book I was reading falls to the ground. Sending a thumping echo through the library. His eyes fill with something dark. It snuffs out the lush green I’m used to. His steps slow the closer he gets to me.
“I know you’re hiding something, Gemma. I just don’t know what. This would be a lot easier if you just tell me.”
