Page 24 of The Court the Fae Forgot
Once again,I had a choice to make. Once again, it wasn’t really a choice at all.
I was back at the beginning, only this time, it was far, far worse.
I was prepared once to leave my sister in her current position, but was I so prepared to take an opportunity like this from her? It was more than the offer of an education, it was the offer of escape. With an education and connections, she had a real chance at a better life—a life far better than I hoped for myself, even if I stole the money and ran as planned. The best I hoped for myself was an apprenticeship. For her, with schooling, she could have so, so much more.
Was I really so ready to take that from her?
If only I had a little more time. Even a couple weeks would be enough.
If I ran now, even without taking the money with me, my parents wouldn’t be able to use it to pay for Ada’s tuition. Without the money from my dowry to collect from Rayner, they’d have no one to work the mill with Ada going off to school. My mother’s hands were too weak to work the quern-stone, and my father too drunk.
Without the money, I’d be at the mercy of whatever charity I could find—and more likely than not, it would be the kind of charity that expected a far greater payment in return.
Maybe I could go through with the marriage, but run away from Rayner as soon as the dowry was paid? I doubted, however, that Rayner was fool enough to leave his new bride alone, even for a second. The thought of having to endure the bridal chamber before a chance of escape—should it ever come—made me nearly stop and vomit on the side of the path back down to the river.
As it was, I still had to pause, one hand reaching out to steady myself against the rough bark of a tree. My world had not stopped spinning since my fate had been announced.
I’d been fending Rayner off for so long that I never truly imagined I’d one day fail. I couldn’t even think what it would mean to be his actual wife. I’d imagined plenty of times how my marriage would end—with my untimely death at Rayner’s hands—but never before considered how it wouldbegin.What I’d be expected to do as Rayner’s wife, not just in his home, at his side in the stables, but in hisbed.
I knew little of what happened between man and wife, but what I did know was enough to finally push me over the edge.
At least I’d made it to the edge of the river, where the meager remnants of my half-eaten breakfast were quickly washed away. Rain had made the river rise over the last few days, the scent of the damp earth growing heavy beneath the trees that pressed in on either side.
I’d come full circle. It wasn’t long ago that I’d found myself here, in the same place, with a far brighter future ahead of me than the one I now faced.
I didn’t recognize that it wasn’t just the trees pressing in on me until it was too late—until I felt it again. The Wildness. It called to me.
More than called to me, it tugged at my very bones as if it could drag me from the river and into the forest to swallow me whole, as it had promised so many times before. This time, even knowing how that promise was really the worst kind of threat, I wanted to listen. I wanted to heed the Wildness’ call.
I wanted to be reckless.
I lifted my head and fixed my gaze into the dark, summer green of the forest. The late afternoon light still broke through the tops of the trees, but it no longer filtered down into its depths. My feet led me forward, the water lapping at my ankles and then deepening to my calves, and then thighs. The rocks of the river slowed the water here, forming a deep pool just out of sight of the mill that had become all too familiar over these last few weeks.
With my gaze still transfixed forward, I waded further into the water. I didn’t stop until the cool river swirled around my waist, pulling my billowing dress in tangles around my legs.
The heat of my rage wasn’t enough to keep me from shivering in the midst of the mountain-sprung water. Even here, in the midst of summer, it carried with it the lingering touch of those far-off snow-capped peaks.
That deep humming reverberated through me, pulling at that something deep inside that had only grown stronger over the past few weeks. I didn’t resist it this time. I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, relishing the cool breeze carried across the surface of the water. My hands drew tight across my chest, my fingers digging into the flesh of my shoulders as if I could hold myself tight enough to protect me from the inevitability of fate stretching before me.
Without so much as the rustle of a leaf to warn me, I knew, suddenly, that I was not alone in this forest. And that it was already too late to run.
Whatever it was, it was already upon me.
“I wouldn’t be so sure, Lost One. Even fate isn’t so certain as that.”
My hands dropped from my sides, but when I went to whirl around and face the source of the familiar voice, I found myself still cemented to the spot. In the place of my hands were his, his long black claws digging into my shoulders where my own fingers had been.
It was no matter.
I didn’t need to turn to know exactly who—or rather what—now towered behind me. It was all I could do to keep my voice from shaking.
“Lost One? I’m not lost. I’m exactly where I mean to be.”
I felt, rather than saw, the smile that spread across his face.
“Are you so sure of that?”
I opened my mouth to answer, but the words died on my lips as my eyes scanned the forest. It was as if the harder I looked, the stranger it became. I’d spent my whole life bathing in this river, seen its every change, its every season, and yet suddenly, I felt like a stranger between its rocky banks.
