Page 70 of Fixed Up Ever After
As she spoke, her anger mounted. She was surprised her eyes weren’t watery with tears because when she got passionate about something her emotions would overwhelm her and she would end up crying. But not today. Too much had to be said.
“Lola, what the hell did you want me to do? We hardly talked and it wasn’t as if you answered any of my calls. You only ever answered for Mom or Dad. Never me,” Marisol argued, her voice shaking on the last words.
“So it’s my fault you started dating Archie? It’s my fault you treated me like shit since I didn’t pick up the damn phone to talk to you?”
“No, I’m not saying that!”
“Then what the hell are you saying?”
“Girls.” Their father stepped in, but Lola’s ire found him next.
“And you”—she pointed a finger at him—“only stood up for me when you got tired of the bickering. You allowed the comments about my weight, appearance, and ambitions as long as it didn’t interfere with your perfect family photo. News flash, Dad. It was never perfect!”
Suffocating silence followed her words as they stewed in their thoughts. She searched their features, finding shame and hurt in their eyes. It was something they needed to feel, just for a second, to realize how in the wrong they were.
After a few more seconds, Lola was ready to break the silence, but Marisol’s whimpering caught her attention. When she looked back at her sister, she realized Marisol was crying. “Marisol?” Her voice softened somewhat but was tinged with apprehension.
“I’m sorry. Fuck, I hate crying.” Their dad reached into his pocket and pulled out a tissue before handing it to Marisol. She dabbed at her eyes, careful of her makeup. Lola couldn’t remember the last time she saw her sister cry.
“When Dad called me last week and said we needed to check in on you, I admit, I wanted no part of it. I didn’t know how me being here would help you at all. As I said, we don’t talk.” Before Lola could protest, Marisol put her hand up, silencing her. “And that’s largely my fault. It was so much easier to go along with Mom than be the person she pestered.”
“I wouldn’t call putting me on a diet as an eight-year-old ‘pester.’ Or shaming me for not fitting in perfectly with this facade she wanted to share with the world ‘pestering,’” Lola protested.
To her credit, Marisol looked embarrassed by her words. “Right. Sorry. You’ve always been better at words than me. What I’m saying is I knew Mom treated you differently than me. I took advantage of that because I could. It became such a part of me that half the time I didn’t realize what I was doing. I didn’t think my words hurt you because I had become so desensitized toward you.”
“You learned all of this in a week, have you?” Lola muttered, doing her best not to roll her eyes. Marisol was trying and it was more than she had ever done before.
“No. I guess I started noticing the differences once I got engaged to Archie. Mom was so excited for me in a way she had never been for you when the two of you were dating. The wedding brought out the worst in her…in us.”
“I…” Lola sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. She tried to remember the breathing techniques to calm her racing heart and took a minute to count each breath before she started again. “I guess I don’t understand what changed. Why you care.”
“For so long I always thought you were the problem. That the Mom I got was the same Mom you got, but you pushed her away and deliberately did things to piss her off. After the wedding, once everything settled down, I had time to think. That’s when Dad called and I realized I’ve wasted so much time being mad at nothing. It scared me when you cut Mom off because…believe it or not, I don’t want you to cutmeoff.”
That revelation stunned her. Never would she have thought that Marisol would be so scared of getting cut off by Lola. Marisol’s words from earlier rang through her mind and made her reflect on how she treated her sister.
How many times had Marisol called her only for Lola to immediately put it to voicemail? How many unanswered texts had she left unread?
It wasn’t an excuse for her behavior. Not at all. But it did provide some insight.
“I guess it’s hard for me to realize we had two very different moms growing up. I couldn’t fathom how you could feel so much hatred toward her, but…I’m starting to understand.”
“To be clear, I don’t hate Mom,” Lola said. As much as her mother hurt her, she didn’t hate her. Some part understood her need to fit into the society she married into and present this perfect family to the world. She wasn’t only a woman, she was a Mexican woman and she had to fight tooth and nail to earn any ounce of respect.
However, her mother needed to work on her own trauma and stop projecting it onto Lola. If she didn’t see a counselor, she wasn’t sure she ever would. As hard as it was, Lola needed to keep herself safe, and cutting off someone so toxic was the first step.
“And neither do we,” her father said. “But we also don’t like how she’s been treating you. And you’re right. I have been pretty ignorant in that way. I thought eventually you two would get along. Your mother can be overbearing, but I didn’t see how much she affected you.”
Her dad reached over the table and grasped her hand. “Your mother knows we are here and that she was not allowed to join us. Obviously, she isn’t happy about it, but she brought this upon herself. That being said, if you would like time away from your sister and me too…well, we would understand.”
Did she want that? Maybe she would have wanted her sister gone once, but now? Lola turned back to Marisol. “Just one thing. Why didn’t you tell me about Archie? I never understood why you started dating him when you knew I dated him first.”
Marisol’s cheeks reddened. “Archie had wiggled his way into our family, but especially with Mom. She always made comments about how it was so surprising that Archie and I weren’t the ones together. It was constant and got to the point where I just couldn’t ignore her anymore. The night Archie broke up with you, he came by the house to inform our parents. Except Dad wasn’t home, it was only Mom.”
During their relationship, Archie had formed a strong relationship with her parents. She knew now it was because her parents had money and status, and that was the only thing Archie had even been attracted to.
“When he asked to take me on a date a few days later, I said yes because I felt like I didn’t have a choice. I didn’t know it would lead to him declaring we were dating and I definitely didn’t know that it would lead me to marrying him.” Marisol’s eyes filled with tears, and she looked at Lola as if pleading for her to understand.
Lola had spent so long being mad at Marisol, hating her for being the perfect daughter, without really realizing her sister was hurting too. Only in a different way. Marisol had to live up to the perfection their mother set for them every single day. She always went along with whatever their mother said because it was easier just to do as Luciana asked than deal with the fallout from disappointing her.
