Page 60 of Fixed Up Ever After
It wasn’t the answer he wanted and didn’t help ease the unsteady feelings growing inside of him, but he nodded. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do, so he continued to stand awkwardly as he watched her unpin her hair until it fell in tight curls around her face.
“I’m going to shower and then we can head to bed. I’ll sleep on the couch tonight,” she said, gathering her things up for the bathroom and heading in without a look back.
There was no way in hell he was going to let her take the couch and the moment she closed the door, he grabbed a pillow off the bed and tossed it onto the couch. He pretended it didn’t sting to have been kicked out of bed with her, but he was at capacity with lying to himself.
While she showered, he changed out of the too expensive tux he rented for this occasion and changed into sweats and a plain T-shirt. With nothing else to do, he planted himself right on the couch and waited for her to get out. After a few minutes, Javi turned on the TV to drown out the voices in his head and to distract his wandering mind.
An hour passed, or maybe two, Javi lost all concept of time as he desperately tried to shut his brain off by watching some documentary about coral reefs, when Lola finally stepped out of the bathroom. The steam from the room followed after her as she walked, sending the smell of clean laundry and lavender to his senses.
She was dressed in a silk tank top and shorts set, giving him ample skin to look at. He couldn’t enjoy her body on display, he was too nervous watching her work her way around the room, grabbing her brush to comb her hair, and moisturizer to apply to her face.
The silence was torture.
As if sensing his eyes on her, Lola turned to look at him once she was done towel-drying her hair. “I managed to change our flight to tomorrow at noon.” Her words stunned him. He believed they had more time reserved at the hotel and he had hoped that would allow them to talk. But apparently, that was no longer an option.
“I’m ready to go home. I just need to be back somewhere I feel more comfortable, doing my daily routines,” she said, answering his unasked question. “And no, I’m not ready to talk. I know I’m being an asshole, but please, let me deal with one problem at a time.”
Problem. So he was a problem now? As much as he tried not to take it personally, he couldn’t help but take offense to her words. Maybe he wasn’t as prepared for the conversation as he thought he was.
“So, that’s it? We are going to pretend as if nothing happened?” His words came out harsher than he intended, but he couldn’t help it.
He heard Lola’s intake of breath the moment before she turned off the lights. “I just need time,” she said again, though it sounded flimsy this time. A mere ghost of a promise that would never see the light of day. “But…thank you for being there with me during that. I needed your strength.”
“Nah, preciosa. You didn’t need me at all. That was all you and I’m so proud of you.”
You don’t need me at all.The words played like a mantra in his mind and he only hoped they didn’t come to be realized.
Lola didn’t reply and he didn’t expect her to. He listened to her breathing and turning in bed, trying to find a comfortable position. His mind was wide awake as he replayed these last two days. Lola had never seemed further away from him than she did at that moment.
Javi didn’t sleep much that night, fearing what the morning would bring.
CHAPTER38
Lola
Before the sun had the chance to fully rise, creating pockets of light that brought with it new hopes for the day, Lola awoke. The only hope she had today was to board the plane without a panic attack and not think about yesterday's fight with her mom until she was home. She just had to survive a little bit longer.
Sleep had not come easily for her; she had tossed and turned most of the night. More than once she had woken up and noticed a light from the other side of the room. Apparently she hadn’t been the only one that sleep eluded, for she caught Javi on his phone a few times throughout the night.
When she decided laying around in a lonely bed was no longer an option, Lola rolled out and was surprised to find Javi sitting up. He had dark circles underneath his red-rimmed eyes and his clothes were rumpled from the couch. Their eyes met momentarily and she detected a spark of light inside him. When she didn’t address him, the light was smothered out and he looked resigned to the silent treatment.
She needed to talk to him; she wasn’t being fair by holding back her concerns. But the truth was, her mind was a minefield of chaos right now and any wrong step would push her over the edge. There was still so much she needed to untangle and the truth of the matter was she couldn’t think clearly when she was around him.
Her body and heart wanted Javi more than they have ever wanted anything else, but she had been led astray before. She needed her brain to be in on this too and right now, it was in overdrive mode.
They gathered their things in silence, moving past one another to reach for the items they needed to pack away in their suitcases. Lola had sent a quick text message to her father, asking him to meet her downstairs in ten minutes. Thankfully he was also an early riser and responded immediately that he was getting dressed and would be there soon.
All that was left to do was to gather up her bathroom belongings. She had managed to pack most of her makeup last night, so she just had her shampoos and other toiletries to pack. All of Javi’s things were gone from the bathroom when she entered and she couldn’t describe the emptiness she felt by not seeing his things next to hers. She was sleep deprived. There was no other reason to be sad over missing toiletries.
By the time she was finished gathering up the last of her things and zipping up her suitcase, Javi was waiting for her at the door. Without asking, he took her bags from her and she let him. “A car is upfront. Do you mind waiting for me out there? I’ll just be a minute; I want to say goodbye to my dad.”
Javi stared at her and she felt naked under his gaze. It wasn’t a piercing hot gaze that eye fucked her. That would have been easier and much preferred over this. No, this gaze was staring straight into her soul, as if seeking hidden truths she wasn’t yet ready to give.
The words he seemed to want to say played on his lips, but instead of speaking them, Javi nodded. “Of course.” That’s it. No preciosa, no kiss, no nothing. He left without another word. Just like she wanted.
And yet it didn’t make her feel any better.
Because she was a coward, she waited until Javi stepped onto an elevator before she left the room, letting the door shut on their shortened week. She didn’t have to wait long for another elevator and rode it down to the first floor. Just as the doors opened, her father stepped out from the opposite side and beamed at her. His sweet smile nearly brought tears to her eyes. How sad that an ounce of kindness would bring her to her knees.
