Page 59 of Fixed Up Ever After
She knew now she never wanted it to be her, but that didn’t make the situation any less awkward or the looks any less unpleasant. All she wanted was for her mother to acknowledge this was a weird situation and that her feelings were valid. Perhaps even mention how proud she was of Lola for going through with being in the wedding despite all of those things.
But that was not the mom she was given. No, the woman she was given was looking at her without an ounce of sympathy. Only disgust and anger reflected in her features and the last bit of hope she had for their relationship crumbled. Luciana would never be the mother she needed and Lola would never be the ideal daughter. She saw that now. After years of trying to keep the peace, she couldn’t keep doing this anymore. For once, she wanted her mother to fight for their relationship.
It was an eye-opening experience and not one she wanted to have while drunk and uncertain about where she stood with Javi.
“You are sabotaging your sister’s wedding for your selfish reasons, Dolores. I knew there might be problems with you considering your history with Archie, and I was prepared to deal with them anyway I could. That’s why I kept you so busy in hopes that it would keep you distracted. That was a mistake and I should have checked in on who you would be bringing as your so-called date.”
The words cut like daggers through her heart, but her mom wasn’t finished. “If anyone finds out what you did, our family will be dealing with cleaning up your mess of a scandal when we should be celebrating your sister’s happy day. She is going to be devastated when she finds out her sister tried to sabotage her wedding.”
“Scandal? Sabotage?” This woman really thought they were the Clintons and not another wealthy family in America. A bitter laugh escaped her lips as she shook her head in disbelief. “I was trying to survive a fucking visit with this family! I was trying to protect my mental health because no one else would.”
“Oh, it’s always this same old excuse. When will you give up this idea that you have such a cruel family? When all we want is the best for you.”
“You don't know what’s best for me and you never have! You only care about your image and I’m too emotional or too fat to fit into whatever impossible box you’ve built for me. Well, guess what, Mother? I’m so fucking done with trying to please you. I’m done trying to measure up to this impossible standard you have for me because I never will. And you will never change.”
Luciana looked taken aback by her words. She had never seen her mother look so thoroughly chastised and at a loss for words. “What are you saying, Dolores? Speak frankly.”
“I thought I was speaking frankly. But since you can’t see through your own prejudices, I’ll say it again. I’m done. Done with you and trying to salvage a relationship that was never good in the first place. I’m done being disappointed by you at every turn and I care about myself too much to continue to place myself under your scrutiny. I’m done with you, Mom. And I hope like hell you get the help you need.”
“Dolores!” The complete shock in her mother’s voice nearly made her come crawling back and beg her for forgiveness. But she needed to stand her ground for the ten-year-old little girl who never had the strength or the means to walk away. She needed to do this for the woman she had become and who still struggled with the need to have the mother she deserved.
Lola walked right out of the small room, leaving behind a lifetime of pent-up aggression and trauma. With each step, she became a little lighter on her feet, but she couldn’t help but mourn the loss of a mother who was still very much alive, just one who didn’t deserve her.
As she walked, soft footfalls followed her back to her room.
CHAPTER37
Javi
She did it. Lola fucking did it. If he hadn’t seen his girl stand up for herself with his own two eyes, he doubted he would have believed it otherwise. Not because she wasn’t capable, he knew she had it in her, but because he never suspected it to be during her sister’s wedding, in a tiny room barely bigger than a closet.
The look on Luciana’s face as Lola stormed out of the room was priceless. Her mother’s mouth hung open as if stuck on the last word she said. There was a faint twitch in her eye, the only sign she had not processed what happened. In truth, Javi hadn’t yet processed it either.
Then, as if a light had been switched on in her mind, Luciana’s mouth clamped shut. The fury and rage brewing inside of her turned toward Javi.
“You should be ashamed of yourself! You should—” she started, but Javi didn’t bother waiting around to be the recipient of her ire. With each second that passed, Lola got farther and farther away from him.
By the time he made it out of the room and rounded the corner, the elevator was closing on a determined-looking Lola. He jammed his finger against the button and almost immediately the elevator opened…just not the one with Lola inside.
Before anyone else could follow him, he pressed the close door button on the elevator, quickly followed by his floor level. The damn elevator took its time descending before it finally reached his level. The doors had barely started to open when Javi squeezed his way out, catching sight of the navy-blue dress Lola was in.
She was only a few feet ahead of him, head down as she made a beeline to their room. “Lola, wait!” he called after her, willing his legs to move faster.
“Not now, Javi,” she murmured, fumbling with the key to unlock their door. She found it and pressed the plastic against the reader. Once it turned red, Lola pushed her way inside with Javi at her heels.
“If not now, when?” he insisted, letting the door fall closed behind him. Lola did not stop her speed walking into the room, but instead tossed her clutch onto the bed and vigorously started taking off her jewelry.
“I don’t know!” The frustration unleashed in her voice made him pause. He stood a few feet behind her, but didn’t dare move any closer. She rounded on him in an instant, chest heaving and looked moments away from crying. Yet, her jaw was clenched and she remained unwavering despite the showdown with her mother.
“I know you want to talk about what just happened and I know you want to talk about us, but I don’t have any more to give anyone right now. Please, I want to be left alone.”
No, he didn’t want to leave this alone and let it get swept under the rug to be forgotten. He wanted to address it now while it was still fresh on their minds. He didn’t care that emotions were running high. It was all the more reason to talk about this now.
“I’m not going to leave you alone, Lola. Don’t you understand that? You want space? Fine, I can give you space, but I’m not leaving you. You’re going to talk to me and we are going to work this out together. But don’t you dare think you are pushing me away.”
The words seemed to hang between them, but neither made an effort to fill the silence. What could he say that he hadn’t already? She was cutting herself off from him and he was holding on to the fraying tether still connecting them. He wasn’t prepared to let go unless she asked him to walk out of her life. Even then he would still fight.
After an uncomfortably long pause, Lola sighed in resignation. She turned back to the mirror and started removing bobby pins from her hair. “I just need time,” she said at last.
