Page 92 of The Spy
I'd been warned about going undercover, about the things I chose to share, and how much of it needed to be as close to my real life as possible. But no matter what you did, there was that blurring of lines where you couldn't see and you were juggling being two people. And I'd only been under for a couple of weeks.
Jennings had turned up to take me to lunch. Kaya was my backup. When she stood to greet him, he ignored her. Much like he always did.
He didn't even notice when I narrowed my gaze at his blatant refusal to even acknowledge her. When I passed her desk, I said, "I'll see you later Kaya. Thanks for everything today. You're such a great asset. I appreciate you."
Kaya grinned at me and scowled at him.
He didn't seem to notice though. But when I turned back to her as we were leaving, she was flipping him the bird. I had to bite down on the side of my cheek to keep from saying anything. But it was him who brought it up.
"Do you always talk to your employees like that?"
"Like what?"
"Like they're mates."
"Well, she is a mate. She's also someone who helps me do my job. How else would I talk to her?"
He frowned. "You see, this is why I like you. You offer a different perspective."
"Treating people like human beings is a fresh perspective?"
He frowned at that. "That sounds like you're judging me."
"No, just pointing out that it's not hard to be kind."
His brows furrowed. "Again, it sounds like you judged me and found me lacking."
I sighed. "Am I judging you a little? Sure. Because at the end of the day, I shouldn't have to tell you to be kind to someone. It shouldn't be something that's strange. But I get it. If you never had anyone show you how to extend kindness to those around you and teach you to be a good person, I completely understand how you're confused by that."
He sighed. "Well, I'm seeing how you see me through your eyes, and I'm finding myself flawed."
"I mean, the real mark is when you know you could be better at something but you keep doing the same thing. So are you going to keep ignoring people, or are you going to make an effort?"
He nodded. "That's a good point. See, you're already making me a better person." He leaned in for a kiss, but I offered him my cheek. Last thing we needed was Gabe coming out of nowhere to kick his arse.
What I wanted to scream was that it wasn't my job to make him a better person and that he was a grown adult and could figure that shit out himself. But I didn’t. I just nodded and smiled. "Okay."
The restaurant he’d chosen was beautiful. The balcony offered a magnificent view of London. when we were seated, he beamed a smile at me. Did you get the dress?"
Oh I’d gotten the dress all right. It was not the one I would have chosen for myself. It was the black and boring one with the price tag that was more than twice my mortgage. "It was very generous, and you didn't have to do that."
"I did, I wanted to. I thought you'd look great in black."
I frowned at that. I hated the dress. It had zero life. It was something dull and boring and didn't match my personality at all.
It's not about your personality, I had to remind myself. It's about Tabatha Bracknell, who she is, and what she would accept. And she would be grateful. Or at least, that's what he thinks.
I hated having to pretend to be this person I wasn’t even sure I would like. But what was I going to do?
I was certainly antsy on our date. When I saw someone familiar out of the corner of my eye, I sat up straighter as Saint approached.
"I thought that was you." He clapped Jennings on the back.
"Jasper Saint. I haven't seen you in ages."
He turned to introduce me. "This is my date, Tabatha Bracknell."
Jasper gave me a winning grin and shook my hand, passing me something as we gripped. "I was just having lunch with my wife. I wanted to come and say hello."
