Page 67 of His Housekeeper's Twin Baby Confession
Massimo muttered, ‘I knew it...’
Carrie sat up. ‘Can you pass me a robe or something, please?’
Massimo plucked a robe off the end of the bed and handed it to her. He didn’t look away as she got into it, and she hated it that her body responded to his unabashed gaze with such eagerness, her blood thrumming as if she hadn’t just spent the night in his bed.
She got out of bed and tied the robe tightly around her. ‘Do we have to have this conversation now?’
‘It’s as good a time as any.’
‘Look, what happened last night... It’s pregnancy hormones. It’s common for women to feel more—’
‘Horny?’ Massimo supplied crudely.
‘Something like that.’
‘You’re saying that’s all it is?’
‘Well, how would I know? I’ve been pregnant since the last time we slept together.’
Liar, whispered a voice.
She knew well it had nothing to do with being pregnant. And she knew she couldn’t not be honest.
‘No,’ she admitted. ‘Of course it’s not just that. I’ve wanted you too.’
‘There’s something I need to tell you,’ he said.
Instinctively Carrie sensed it was something she really didn’t want to hear, but she said nothing.
He said, ‘I’ve realised something over the past few months. I think I always knew, but I told myself that I just wanted marriage in order to provide security and stability...to offer our children a better life. But it’s more than that. Carrie, I know what a bad marriage looks like. How much damage it can inflict on children. That’s why I never wanted one. I felt sure I’d pass something on...the same destructive streak Ric and my parents had... But I know that’s not rational. They reacted the way they did due to whatever dysfunction it was they experienced. But since meeting you...since being with you... I’ve seen how two people can communicate and be together. I want more, Carrie. I want it all. The chance to build a happy life together and for our children. But I won’t settle for anything less thanallof you.’
Carrie instinctively took a step back.
Massimo saw the movement and wouldn’t let her escape his dark gaze.
‘Carrie, I love you. Those six weeks without you after New York were torture. I missed you so much it was like a physical pain. And it wasn’t just about the sex. You crept under my skin and into my heart. There’s only one other person I have loved this much...’
Carrie was hearing his words but it was as if they were very far away. As if there was a glass shield between her and Massimo. She felt numb. Encased in ice.
Flashbacks were filling her head. Her husband saying,‘But I love you so much, Carrie. Marry me and I’ll look after you always. You need me.’
Past and present were tangled, and all Carrie could think was that she had to protect herself from being manipulated all over again.
Before Massimo could speak again, she said, ‘You don’t need to lie to get me to marry you, Massimo. If I decide to marry you it’ll be for all the reasons you’ve already outlined.’
His jaw clenched at her rejection of what he’d said. ‘So you’re agreeing to marriage, then?’
‘No,’ Carrie said quickly, feeling claustrophobic. ‘I mean, I haven’t really thought it through...’
‘Because you’re scared. You’re scared of losing yourself again—of handing over your agency to someone who will take advantage. But you’re not that woman any more, Carrie. And I am not that man. Youknowthis.’
It was as if he was reaching inside her and rooting through all her deepest insecurities, plucking them out to expose them to the bright daylight. She felt unbelievably threatened.
‘Last night was a mistake,’ she said.
‘No, it wasn’t. It was inevitable,’ he said. And then, ‘I’m not lying, Carrie. I’m not denying that people can use love to be manipulative and cruel, but what I feel for you isn’t that. I told myself I’d never love again after losing Ricardo, and I was so careful. I never allowed any woman a chance to get close, and that worked fine—until you. The minute I touched you I knew it was different.’
Carrie wanted to put her hands over her ears. She wanted to block out Massimo’s smooth words. The way they were winding around her like silken threads beckoning her to believe him. Trust him.
