Page 47 of Their One-Night Rio Reunion
He turned his head and placed a kiss to the middle of the palm of her hand. She drew it back, still not entirely sure what was going on in spite of the way he was looking at her and the things he was saying. It was too huge. Too much of a sea-change.
As if sensing her trepidation, Caio said, ‘You asked me about children, a family...asked me what was the point of my success there’s no one to leave it all to. I’ve always rejected the idea of family because of my own toxic example, and I rejected the notion of legacy because that’s what our families are built on—and look at what they’ve become... But I’ve come to realise that they might have started out with a very positive idea of legacy, but success and greed twisted them. You were right, Ana. Whatisthe point of all this work—of extricating myself from my family and taking my mother’s name—if I can’t share it with someone else, or some day, hand it down to the next generation. They might not want it, but that’s okay.’
Ana found her voice. ‘They...? Who isthey?’
‘Our children.’
Suddenly it was too much. It was as if she was in some parallel dimension and Caio was articulating all her most secret fantasies. Except she’d never even allowed herself to indulge in this one.
She pushed at Caio until he moved back, and then slid down off the counter and escaped back to the other side of the island. She needed space. Air.
‘What you’re saying is... It’s too much, Caio. I don’t know if I believe you. Only yesterday you were saying that you don’t believe in marriage or family. That that was why you wanted a marriage of convenience. Yet now...’
Caio looked at Ana. He saw the distrust in her eyes. On her face. And something else. A yearning. His insides twisted. It was all so clear to him now, but not to her, and he had a sickening sense that no matter what he said she wouldn’t believe him. And he couldn’t really blame her. After all, he’d done a spectacular job for the last few months—and hours—of living in a state of denial.
He ran a hand through his hair. ‘Look, Ana, I know this is hard to grasp, but everything I’m saying has been here...’ he touched his chest ‘...building up.’ He cursed silently. It sounded weak to his own ears.
She lifted her chin. ‘Last night,Iseducedyou. I’ll never know if you would have seduced me.’
The hum of desire inside Caio refuted that. ‘I was a coward. I wanted you too much to risk trying to seduce you and you rejecting me.’
Ana’s eyes widened. ‘Youwere scared ofmerejectingyou.’ Her tone was flat. She folded her arms. ‘What if last night hadn’t happened?’
‘I think I would have lasted about a week before following you to Amsterdam and seducing you into coming back to Rio.’
He knew that now. The absence of Ana would have thrown everything into sharp relief.
He said, ‘All last night did was accelerate the process.’
Ana shook her head. ‘I don’t believe you.’
Caio seized on something he’d forgotten about. ‘So why did I book to go to a conference in Dublin in ten days’ time? A conference that has asked me to deliver the keynote speech every year for the past five years, and this year I said yes.’
Ana looked doubtful.
Caio’s guts clenched. ‘In case it’s not obvious by now... I love you, Ana. And, believe me, no one is more surprised than me that I’m saying those words. But, quite simply, the thought of you leaving, of you being out in the world without me, is terrifying. Why do you think that gang targeted us? They’d been following us for months...they saw something that we weren’t even ready to admit to ourselves. They knew I’d do whatever it took to get you back.’
Ana looked at him for a long moment. Her face was pale. Eyes huge. Eventually she said, ‘You see, the thing is, Caio, that I’ve loved you for some time now. In spite of my best instincts and my attempts to stop myself from falling for you because I knew you were all wrong for me. And it wasn’t as if you gave me any encouragement. But I fell for you anyway. Maybe you believe you love me for now, after last night...but you’re the one who warned me about confusing sex with emotion, Caio. Maybe you need to take your own advice.’
She turned and walked out of the villa, but not before he’d seen the glint of emotion in her eyes.
Not for the first time in twenty-four hours, Caio felt helpless. A hollow ache spread through him. A sense of futility. His dogged cynicism and strong sense of self-preservation mocked him mercilessly. He’d not only convinced himself that he was above such mortal concerns as love and connection...he’d convinced Ana too.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
ANASTOODONthe beach looking out to sea. Funny how she kept gravitating to this place.Caio had told her he loved her. How she’d managed to walk away from him after he’d said that, she wasn’t sure. Her legs still felt like jelly. But she couldn’t afford to believe him. The risk was too huge. If her own mother could turn her back on her and walk away, then a man who’d briefly confused passion and sex with emotion could do far worse.
And it would be infinitely more painful this time.
She’d never heal from it and she’d become as cynical and self-protective as him.
That thought made her stop.
It made her think about a young boy growing up—superfluous to requirements, all but ignored by his father and brothers, with a brittle mother living in the shadow of her domineering husband.
She thought of Caio watching that. Absorbing it. Seeing the moment when his mother had decided to take a chance and fight for her own survival only to go back, proving to Caio that any attempt to find one’s own emotional happiness was just not worth it. And then his experience at the hands of his first lover.
She knew where his bone-deep cynicism came from. That was why she couldn’t trust that he’d let it go so quickly. No matter how much she wanted to.
