Page 78 of The Governess and the Brooding Duke
‘Perhaps.’
He laughed, and she let out a slow breath, and suddenly couldn’t eat any of the glorious spread set before her.
What if she let him bed her? And it filled her with terror. What if she screamed and thrashed? What if it was the same as it had been the first time?
And would he take precautions with her? Would he ensure that he didn’t get her with child?
If he did, she would have the bastard of a duke, and that was a damn sight better than the bastard of a rapist, that was sure.
But the shame...
There was the shame.
Slut.
Was she? To even consider this? Her mother had thought that she had the makeup of a whore.
And perhaps it was true.
Perhaps that was why she was entertaining this. Because in her very deepest parts, she was prone to this kind of thing. Maybe it had been obvious. Maybe that was why she had been chosen...
She wouldn’t go tonight. She couldn’t.
That denial made her want to weep.
But she had to take care of herself.
She had to remember. She was the only one who could really take care of herself. And no matter how tired she was, she had to remember. She had to keep moving.
She had to follow through.
There had been moments in her life when she had shared with others.
She’d had Penny.
But then she’d had to go. She could never return to Scotland.
Not when...
All she knew was that she wanted to lean into him.
To ask him to take care of everything.
To decide what she might teach, and when she needed rest.
Because he was much kinder to her than she was to herself.
And it just felt good. To rest.
It felt so indescribably good.
But could she allow herself this?
She had not been prepared for a duke. Not this duke. And yet it was the most singular connection she’d ever made in her life. She’d been hurt by men. Wounded. So deeply. And suddenly there was this man.
This man who made her feel like a woman. Like a woman who could want a man.
Maybe this wouldn’t be her home for ever. It would’ve been nice.
