Page 68 of The Governess and the Brooding Duke
‘Your Grace,’ she said again, firmly. ‘I must guard myself and my position.’
‘But I do distract you.’
‘What will I gain by admitting this?’ she said, her voice dropping to a whisper. ‘If I say I find you to be a handsome man, what will my reward be?’
She looked at him directly. A challenge.
His body was rioting. He wanted to tell her that the reward would be a night of pleasure in his bed.
He kept himself chained for this reason.
Because he knew what sort of destruction men caused when they embraced their own desires ahead of all else.
‘Nothing. I understand what the consequences are for stepping off the path.’
‘Then you understand I cannot.’
‘And neither can I.’
‘You aren’t grieving your wife,’ she said. ‘There are mistresses you could have.’
‘I am grieving what might have been.’
‘I am sorry.’
She turned away, and then...looked back up at him. He felt his body going tight and hard when her gaze met his.
‘You do not have to tell me you want me,’ he said. ‘Your eyes give you away.’
Colour mounted in her face, and this time it was anger. This time, she had not taken his words as light flirting. This time, he had overstepped.
‘For all the good it does.’ She looked down at the babe and then back to him. ‘It is no different than...the challenge you face with this child. He’s not yours, but there would be no glory in letting the world know. It would destroy Jane’s reputation. Damage her own and make this child’s life an impossibility. Such is my...’
‘Your what?’ He felt on edge. She was so bloody correct about the babe. And it lanced him that she was.
It was an impossible situation where the only possible course of action was to throw himself on his sword in private because it would spare them all a public execution.
He could not argue.
And that meant that she would be right about them as well, without her even speaking the words, he knew. Yet he wished to hear it all from her lips.
‘My desire for you,’ she whispered. ‘It is impossible.’
It was his cue to back away. To leave. Not to push.
‘You desire me?’ he asked.
Dammit to hell, he felt like the rake he had never allowed himself to be.
But hewanted. He wanted to draw closer to her. He wanted to feel her soft hands on his body.
He was a man who had never struggled to keep himself in line. He was a man who had never once doubted what he ought to do. What he would do.
He was a man who believed in propriety above all else. Because of who could be hurt, and here she was pleading with him, telling him that it was impossible for her, and he should listen.
He knew. That was the problem.
He already knew, it was only that his resolve was going weak.
