Page 34 of The Governess and the Brooding Duke
‘Let us move on to Latin,’ she said, her voice sterner than she intended as she thought of how tight his grip had been.
My master.
What would it be like? To have him in charge of her care, as he was of all of the estate and everyone in it...
Heaven save her.
By the time the day ended, she walked into his study with grit and determination as her guide. She would face him, and she would not betray that she was affected by him.
He was standing already.
‘Are you all right?’
She nodded once. ‘Just fine.’
‘I want you to know, I decided to ruin him.’
She blinked. ‘What...?’
‘His business relationships will be in tatters after the letters I have written. He will not find it easy to earn money, not in England, not any more. The endeavours they were engaged in were not, in my opinion, of sound moral value anyway. But I took it upon myself to ensure that his partnerships would cease to exist.’
‘You are every bit as ruthless as I am, aren’t you?’
‘Yes. But not of necessity. Because I am a duke, and it is my right.’
She had wondered what it would be like to have strength and power wielded in her favour, and this was it. This, right here.
She did not quite know what to make of it.
She still thought he was likely more angry that his home had been disrespected than anything else. But it was certainly more protection than had ever been offered her before.
‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘However—’ she took a breath ‘—we should keep to our business. Which is, of course, the children.’
It was easier to talk about the children. Safer. Better.
‘They enjoyed seeing the plants today.’
‘And you were able to continue with your position?’
‘I’m not... I’m not fragile, Your Grace, whatever you think of me because of what you witnessed last night. Remember the knife, and not the trembling. And, if you must, remember that I shook not from fear of him, but fear over the very real truth that he would have made a murderer of me.’
‘I will never forget either.’
‘You are more shocked by what occurred than I am. I do not ever give men the benefit of any sort of doubt. I am vigilant. Always.’
And that was the closest she would ever get to speaking of the past with him.
‘Shock is not the appropriate word. I am angry. I am a man who prides himself, above all things, on his ability to stay focused. When I must work, I work. If I feel anger, I go and I box. I ride my horse. I do not sit and stew in it while I am supposed to work, and yet today I find that I have. I am preoccupied by my desire to ruin him. And that is not how I am.’
‘You are not a man of vengeance?’
‘I am not a man of distraction. I am all for vengeance when it fits neatly into my day.’
She could not tell if he was teasing. She did not think he was.
‘Why do you care so much?’ she asked. The question was so small and needy, and she despised it, but she needed to ask it.
No one had ever held her like he had. She had been distant from his body, but his grip had been tight. And it had been unlike anything else. She wanted to keep her mask in place. She wanted to stay unaffected.
