Page 101 of The Governess and the Brooding Duke
She smiled. ‘As do I.’
She dressed, and smiled at him one last time before she walked out of the door. And then, without thought, her face crumpled, and she had to stand there for a moment, holding back a wall of tears.
It was becoming harder and harder to walk away from him every morning. Harder and harder to keep those things separate. In the moment it was always glorious. Wonderful.
But after... After it was always pure sadness.
She would take the sadness for the joy that she felt when she was in his arms.
She was familiar with sadness. With loss and loneliness.
It was joy that she had never had before. And this was joy that surpassed all else.
She would take whatever pain earned her.
For the pleasure she had now.
Chapter Eighteen
Luke made arrangements to come and stay not two weeks later, and West felt anticipation at the idea of seeing his younger brother.
It was a strange thing to think that he would be able to sit with him, and not have to hold back quite so much.
Luke and his wife were so happy. Grace was a perfect match for him, and they seemed very much in love.
It was something that he and Jane had never exuded.
He thought of Jane’s last accusation.
‘It does not matter if you think you love someone, Samuel. You don’t know how to show it. Your love is a desert, and a woman could die of thirst searching forever for an oasis.’
He had often thought, ever since, that his wife had died of thirst.
And then he realised something. He would still be lying to Luke. For he could not have Mary sit with them at dinner. She could not join him in the parlour afterwards for conversation. Mary was the governess. She was not his lover or his mistress in public.
He would not be able to acknowledge her, and that troubled him.
He put the thoughts of that aside when Luke, Grace and the children, Jacob, Marcus and John, arrived.
His sister-in-law moved in and gave him a warm hug. ‘It is good to see you, West. We have missed you.’
‘Quite so,’ said Luke, grinning, but not hugging him. Instead, they shook hands.
‘How was your journey?’
‘Fine enough,’ said Grace. ‘Though the carriage ride made me a bit ill. As I am expecting another child.’
He felt a strange pain in his stomach at the revelation. ‘Congratulations to you both.’
‘Oh, please don’t look like that, West,’ she said, reaching out to touch his sleeve. ‘I have had nothing but easy births. This will be no exception. You cannot be superstitious. I have my third child already, after all. This is the fourth.’
‘Seems excessive,’ he said to Luke, doing his best to regain his composure.
‘I have been accused of being excessive, it’s true.’
‘I love him for it,’ said Grace.
‘You may send the children to the nursery,’ he said. ‘Michael and Elizabeth, and our governess are expecting you.’
