Page 82 of Thicker Than Water
“We found the email you wrote:sorry about last night, it was a big mistake,” I paraphrase, biting back my disappointment. At least when Wyatt cheated, he admitted it.
“No,” Jason says, “that’s not—”
“Jason. Don’t. We talked to Maeve and she confirmed it, and I’m fucking furious about it, but we’ll deal with that later. First—”
“She told us about the money, too,” Julia interrupts—no longer concerned, it seems, about agitating him. Her voice is icier than I’ve ever heard it. It raises the hair on the back of my neck.
She crosses her arms, hiking her shoulders toward her chin. “Ten grand. The money you took from our Europe account.”
Jason stares at her, face blank as he absorbs these things we discovered while he slept. Then—slowly, as if on a delay—his featureswarp with emotion, shifting between denial and devastation, his brow still wrinkled like he’s trying to work something out.
Finally, he relaxes, his expression flattening with acceptance, and he drops his head against the pillow.
“Julia,” he says. “You must be—” He stops to grimace, pulling his hand from mine to rub his temple, screwing shut his eyes.
“Should I get a nurse?” I ask, half standing from the bed.
“No,” Jason groans. He opens his eyes, staring into Julia’s with so much pain I almost call for someone anyway. “I did give that money to Maeve. But I—” He stretches out his hand, limply reaching for Julia, who holds herself back. “I didn’t sleep with her. Iswear.”
His last sentence is strangled and strained, more like a plea.
I glance at Julia. Her face is still stony, but her head is tilted in confusion.
“I don’t get it—” I start, before Julia jumps in.
“Then why would she say you did?”
Jason leans back again, looking at the ceiling when he speaks. “She must be cover-covering for me.” He swallows for what seems like a long time. I watch his throat bob in slow motion. “For what I did. At Gavin’s that night.”
Time stretches, liquid and languid. The temperature drops. Julia turns to look at me, but I’m still staring at Jason, waiting for him to clarify, waiting for him to walk his statement back.
“You were—you were at Gavin’s?” I ask. “You were…” My sentence rolls away. “I don’t understand.”
Jason’s gaze sinks to his lap. He studies his hands—empty, un-held.
“Gavin’s an animal,” he says.
Cold curls through me. My tongue feels frozen, stuck to the roof of my mouth.
“He makes… comments,” Jason continues. “About womenhe’s dating. Women in the office. Treats our sales reps like, like frat brothers. And he was after Maeve. He cornered her in the warehouse. And when I heard about that, I thought of—” Jason looks at me, gaze murky, haunted. “Clive Clayton. In high school. The things he said about you.”
Air catches in my throat. Clive talked about me? If Clive was boasting about me in locker rooms after that party, nudging his friends as I skirted past him in the hall, I suppose it makes sense that Jason wouldn’t tell me. He’d want to protect me from that.
“Gavin in the warehouse—that was just words,” Jason says. “But I know what words lead to. With men like him. I didn’t want him to—to have, have the chance. That’s why I gave Maeve the money.” His eyes slide to Julia. “I thought if she could start her store— I knew I could— I was up for a pro-promotion. It would all be okay.”
His sentences are brittle, each one breaking up like a bad phone connection. I’m not sure if it’s exhaustion from the coma or effects from the meds they have him on, but I don’t urge him to stop, don’t warn him to take his time, and Julia doesn’t either.
“But then you saw the withdraw-drawal,” he says, still staring at his wife. “You wanted me to get the money back. I had to make you believe I couldn’t. Maeve needed it more than we did.”
In my peripheral vision, I see Julia stiffen. She knots her hands in front of her.
“I had to get her away from Gavin. Before he did worse. And I was still sure—with the promotion—” Jason shakes his head, the movement slight. “But Gavin gave that to someone else. And I didn’t know how to tell you. You felt so… f-far away. But I know I was right to give Maeve that money. It was just weeks after the warehouse that Gavin did something to her.”
Jason closes his eyes, resting for a moment. I feel Julia sneak a look my way, but I don’t return it. I’m locked on my brother.
“She got drunk so fast. At our holi-holiday party. When I came out of the bathroom, I saw her through the window. Gavin putting her in his car—she was stumbling. Out of it. I thought, ‘I can’t l-let her be alone with him.’ But then I—I thought of you, Julia. Counting on me, for that promotion. And I knew Gavin would—he’d be petty. Cross my name off if I intervened. And I hesita-tated too long. He drove away.”
Jason lowers his gaze, burying it in the blankets. “I’d let it happen, I— Sienna.” I startle as he says my name. “It was you and Clive all over again.”
