Page 176 of Star Bringer
“I apologize, Mother. You always taught me that I need to understand the decisions we make. And I still don’t understand this one. It seems…” Words fail me.
She reaches across the table and fills my glass with fiznachi—a big concession for her. “You know what’s at stake here, Kalinda—we’ve shared the timeline with you now. Surely you can see the impossible situation we’re in. We’re balancing on a knife’s edge, and any little thing will send us spinning toward certain disaster. I’m doing this to save as many people as possible. But I can’t save everyone.”
I want to believe the sadness I see in her eyes, but I can’t. Because I know she doesn’t care about the lives of the people on the inner planets. She just cares that she has her perfect life here in the palace. Shit, we could probably fit a few hundred refugees in our empty rooms alone.
But then she shrugs. “Plus, think about this rationally. The reduction in population will mean the resources will last longer—we’ll no longer have to supply grain to the Inners. And, of course, there’s the added advantage that with the destruction of Serati, we’ll eliminate the threat from the Sisterhood of the Light, who are getting too powerful for their own good. And with Permuna gone, we’ll wipe out most of the Rebellion supporters and stop their endless uprisings.”
The thought sickens me, has my stomach twisting itself into knots and my lungs tightening to the point of pain.
My mother is a sociopath. There’s no other explanation for what she’s saying, what I’m hearing. She wants to murder millions of people because it will make things more convenient for her, and what’s not to like about that?
“And what about Kridacus?” I ask in an amazingly calm tone, considering it’s taking every ounce of self-control I have not to scream at her. Or puke all over her fancy white couch.
She waves a careless hand. “They’re parasites, sucking the resources from the other planets and giving nothing back. Can’t you see it’s a win-win, Kali? We’ll actually be helping so many people if we do this.”
Win-win? This is a nightmare.
“Don’t look at me like that,” she suddenly snaps, and all attempts at civility are gone from her tone.
“Like what?” I ask.
“Like your father used to when he was disappointed in me. In me! His Empress.”
He obviously didn’t look at her like that enough. If he had, maybe we wouldn’t be here.
“What if I won’t do it?” I ask.
Her eyes narrow. “Well, we can always have you dragged to the thing in shackles and force your hand—literally. But I don’t think that will be necessary. Will it?”
“I won’t do it, Mother. I won’t have anything to do with killing all those people.”
She considers me for a moment, her head tilted to one side like she always does when she’s thinking. “You know, Dr. Veragelen isn’t the only person to have survived theCaelestisaside from your group of outlaws. Your companion-in-waiting and bodyguard are still here as well. I considered having them executed as examples of what happens when someone fails in their duty to the Ruling Families. I changed my mind when I received news that you were alive. But, Kali, cross me in this, and they will suffer. Make no mistake.”
Bile burns the back of my throat as my heart threatens to beat out of my chest. Lara and Arik. How can I lose them now, when I’ve just found them again? But I don’t say anything else—even I can figure out that the time for talking to her is through…if it ever existed at all.
She gets to her feet. “But it won’t come to that.”
Silently, I shake my head.
“Good. Now, drink your fiznachi. You need to get cleaned up. You have a public appearance in an hour, and I don’t think I need to remind you that you must make me proud.” She leaves.
I don’t move until the door closes behind her. Then I pick up the bottle of fiznachi and take a long pull. It doesn’t touch the horror cycling inside me. Then again, I don’t think anything will—not even a bottle of Ian’s gerjgin.
I think I made a terrible mistake leaving theStarlight.
Chapter 75
Kali
“Your Highness.” Lara greets me with a little curtsy when I walk into my rooms a few minutes later.
Even with my mother’s threat hanging in the air, the joy at seeing Lara here, alive if not safe, is overwhelming. I hug her like I hugged Arik, and she responds much the same way—with shock, followed by a hug nearly as desperate as mine. “I’m so glad you’re okay,” I whisper, holding her close.
“I’m so gladyou’reokay.” She pulls away. “Though you do stink, if you don’t mind me saying so.”
“I’ve been told.”
“I’ll run you a bath.” She starts toward my bathroom, which is nearly as big as all of theStarlight. The thought shames me.
