Page 173 of Star Bringer
“What the fuck?” Ian says what I bet we’re all thinking. “How could everyone think Rain’s the high priestess if you’re saying it’s actually Kali?”
“Because the Sisterhood faked it,” Merrick says. “And everything’s gone to absolute shit since.”
“Faked it?” I gasp as everything inside me reels from the knowledge. “How is that possible?” And why? I’ve spent my whole life locked up in that monastery thinking that something was really wrong with me because I didn’t feel things the way they said that I should, the way other high priestesses always have. And now I find out it’s because it was all a lie? I’m just…a regular person?
Why would someone do that to Kali? And why would someone do that to me?
For a second, I can’t breathe.
I know it’s selfish, know I shouldn’t be thinking about myself right now when so much else is at stake. Including Kali’s safety, plus the safety of the three inner planets,andthe safety of the entire system. And I do care about all of those things. I do. But I still need a minute, because this is bad. This is really bad.
“How long have you known?” I ask Merrick hoarsely.
He shakes his head. “I’ve suspected for a while. But I knew for sure when I saw Kali wake up the heptosphere.”
“It was her?” I ask, and now my heart is beating out of control. “You know for sure she did it and not me?”
“I was watching,” he said. “Very closely, because I wanted it to be you. I wanted to be wrong. But I wasn’t. It was definitely Kali.”
“Why didn’t you say something, then, when Kali was so sure?” I demand.
“I’ve spent my whole life being loyal to the Sisterhood,” he answers. “Was I really supposed to just give all that up to a bunch of people I barely know? Besides, I thought she was staying on the ship, at least until we made it to the Wilds. I thought I had more time to get confirmation and figure out what to do.”
I’ve known something was wrong with him ever since theCaelestis. I thought it was because of me and the fact that I wasn’t behaving as a high priestess should. But it turns out he really was having a crisis of faith. Over this, not over me.
“You should have said something,” I tell him, an unfamiliar feeling burning in the pit of my stomach. It’s so rare for me that it takes me a few seconds to recognize it as anger. “If not to them, to me. You know everything I’ve been struggling with. And now I know it’s because I’m nothing but a fake.”
“Rain—” he starts, but I cut him off with a shake of my head.
“You should have told me.”
Ian has finally calmed down enough that he doesn’t look like he’s going to kill Merrick, but I figure that can change at any time. Max must think so, too, because I notice he doesn’t move from between them.
“Why did you first start to have suspicions?” I ask.
“I had a vision five years ago of what I thought was my father’s death,” he answers. I wait for him to say more, but he doesn’t.
“Your father just died a few months ago,” I say gently, because I know it’s something that hurts him greatly. And no matter how angry I am at Merrick right now, I could never want to cause him pain.
“I know. Because it wasn’t a vision of his death at all. It was a vision of his brother’s.”
I remember what he told me in the galley when neither of us could sleep. “Kali’s father,” I murmur.
“Kali and Merrick are cousins?” Max asks.
At the same time, Ian says, “That’s some fucked-up shit.”
“This whole thing is fucked up,” Beckett growls. I realize that she’s standing behind me, that she’s got her hands on my waist and is bearing a lot of my weight. I’ve been so in shock I didn’t realize she was even there, let alone how heavily I’ve been leaning on her.
“When Kali’s father married her mother, he renounced his connection with my family and cut off all contact. It nearly broke my father—they were so similar in age, looked alike, had done everything together their entire lives. So when I had the vision of the assassination, he realized it wasn’t his. It was his brother’s, so he traveled in secret to Askkandia to warn him.”
“You knew about Kali’s father’s assassination before it happened?” I ask. This just keeps getting worse and worse.
Merrick nods grimly. “Yes. The visions don’t always come to pass exactly as we see them. But this one did, even though he was warned. My father begged him to return to Serati, but he refused to leave Kali. And the Empress would never have allowed him to take her with him, so he remained where he was.”
“And you didn’t tell Kali?” Beckett asks. “She blamed the rebels for her father’s death, and you saw the whole thing—”
“I don’t know who’s responsible for his death. I didn’t see that—only that he died. But on that trip, he told my father something that changed everything.”
