Page 163 of Star Bringer
I give her a rueful grin. “Saving your own skin, huh?”
“No one else is going to,” she answers with a shrug.
She’s not wrong, except— “That’s what I’m trying to do right now, Beckett. I’m not just leaving because of Ian, you know. I’m leaving because of all of you.”
She doesn’t say anything to that, but she does turn back to the console and start fidgeting with some of the switches there, a surefire sign that she’s uncomfortable. Which is fair, but it doesn’t stop me from telling her, “There’s something else I want to say to you. I hope you don’t mind.”
She shrugs, but her hands still and it almost seems like she’s holding her breath.
I try to get my thoughts in order because I’ll only have one chance to say what needs to be said. “In my time on theStarlight, I don’t think it’s any secret that we’ve had massively separate agendas. And while we were born on very different sides of the conflict currently rocking Senestris, I need you to know that I’m sorry. The crown princess of the Empire that has abused you and hurt you and done you very wrong is sorry. You should never have been treated how you were treated. You should never have had to suffer what you’ve suffered. And I promise you that I will spend every day that I’m alive while my family is in power working to make sure that no one suffers at our hands ever again the way that you have.”
A powerful shudder runs through her too-thin body, and she bows her head so that her black curls cover her face. Another shudder, followed by one harsh, indrawn breath. And then she whispers, “I’m glad I didn’t try as hard as I could have to kill you.”
I almost laugh, but I can hear the sincerity in her voice. And honestly, it’s probably more of a concession than I deserve. “Me too,” I tell her. And while a part of me wants to reach out and hug her, another part of me wants to keep my hands and arms attached to my body. Also, I’m afraid I’ll cry, and if I start, I don’t think I’ll ever stop.
TheStarlight’s command center beeps, and Beckett takes over the controls. “Landfall initiating,” she says. “Huh. Military outpost waved us through without asking for credentials. We’ll be landing in about four minutes, if theStarlighthere is correct.”
TheStarlight’s always correct, and we both know it. So I pick up the bag I packed earlier with a blanket and a few packets of dried fishgalen and sling it over my shoulder. Then I put the letter I wrote Ian on top of the captain’s chair he so loves and make my way to the bridge door.
“You’ll call the Empress once you’re away from here? Tell her where to pick me up?”
“I will.” Beckett does look at me then. “Although I don’t know why you’re trusting me with that task. What if I decide to leave you on some broken-down old moon outpost forever?”
“Because if that happens, the Empress will make a big fuss about not having her precious daughter home. And someone, sometime soon, will bring enough firepower to take down theStarlight—and you.”
Beckett considers my words as she sets the ship down on a patch of purple dirt. “You make a compelling argument.”
“Nice of you to notice.” I smile at her, and for once she smiles back—or at least she only snarls a little bit, which is definite progress. And she doesn’t comment on the fact that my lip is wobbling, which I also appreciate.
She punches a button, and the landing gear goes down. “You sure about this?” she asks.
No. “Absolutely.” I force my feet to start walking, when what they really want to do is stay exactly where they are. As does the rest of me.
“I’ll call your mom as soon as we get some distance from here.”
“Thank you, Beckett.” I hold out a hand to shake, and she takes it. Then—to both of our shock—she reaches over and gives me an awkward half back pat, half hug thing that is a lot more comforting than it should be.
I start walking down the ramp, stomach in knots and tears burning the backs of my eyes. I’m about halfway down when Beckett calls my name again, and I turn to find her standing at the top of the ramp.
“Thank you for not being as big an asshole as I thought you were,” she says.
“Right back at you,” I tell her. And then I make my way fully down the ramp.
I watch as Beckett raises the ramp again. Watch as she starts up theStarlight. Watch as she takes off and flies into the night. And then I watch some more, until the ship looks like little more than a comet streaking through the pitch-black sky.
Only then do I sit down in the middle of the purple dirt and sob. Because I’m pretty sure my entire heart is on that ship, and I just watched it fly away.
Chapter 67
Kali
When I finally finish crying, I wipe my face on the blanket I borrowed from theStarlight. It’s freezing here—not snowy like on Glacea but still very, very cold—so I wrap the blanket around myself as tightly as I can. Then stand up and look around for the first time.
Serai has risen over the horizon, and the atmosphere on this moon has her looking blue as she does—not a great sign for my long-term survival in open air, if the radiation scattering is so different through this atmosphere’s particles than it is on Askkandia, but theStarlightindicated I’d be safe here for at least a few hours after landfall, and I trust her. The world around me has become light enough for me to see a giant purple mountain range in the distance. I also notice five large, industrial-looking buildings to my left, as well as a silver-and-black military pod racing straight toward me.
After everything that happened in Rangar and Rodos, I’m more than a little nervous about what’ll go down when they get to me. But I remind myself this is a military outpost, presumably loyal to the Empress, and I am the princess. I just have to remember that and act like one—at least for now.
I take a second to tie back my hair, smoothing it as best I can. Then I straighten my shoulders, put on the placid princess face I’ve fallen out of the practice of wearing—though I do have to admit, itdoeshelp me feel more in control—and wait for whatever comes next.
