Page 160 of Star Bringer
“I also just found out that I’m the target of the assassination attempts,” I say, exasperated. “Literally just minutes before I found out about you, Max, and Milla! So maybe you could cut me a little slack here, okay? I really am trying to do what’s best for everyone.”
He doesn’t say anything to that, but I can tell he’s thinking about it. Trying to weigh out if he wants to believe me or not. And maybe I’d be angry about that—I don’t lie, and I definitely don’t lie to him—except it’s so obviously coming from a place of his deepest insecurities that I can’t be mad.
“It doesn’t feel like it’s what’s best,” Ian finally says.
And he’s not wrong. Because it doesn’t feel like that at all. It feels awful and gross and like I’m making the worst mistake of my life even thinking about walking away from theStarlight. But I can’t think of anything else to do that will keep them safe from the Empire.
I don’t say that, though. I can’t. Not if I have any hope of getting through this conversation without crying. And not if I’m going to have a chance to prove to him that he has nothing to be insecure about.
It’s so strange to think of him like that—big, tough Ian who always has an answer and is happy to run over whoever he needs to to get his own way. But that’s only part of who he is—and I don’t mean the gestalt. I mean he’s also the guy who’s obviously spent a lifetime avoiding any kind of emotional intimacy with anyone but Max and Milla because he can’t imagine anyone accepting them for who they are.
Accepting him for who—and what—he is.
I’ve spent my life living that way, convinced that if anyone ever saw the small, simple human behind the princess, they’d be disappointed.
I wouldn’t wish that feeling on anyone. And I definitely wouldn’t wish it on the man I’m starting to fall in—
I stop before I can even think such a thing. Because what’s the point of acknowledging it when it will only hurt more when I leave?
Instead, I concentrate on Ian. On the way he looks, all big and tough and sexier than he has any right to. And give myself permission to indulge one last time.
I have a few misgivings—the gestalt fascinates me, but it also makes me a little nervous—so I choose not to focus on it. I focus on Ian instead, just Ian, and not the sorrow that feels like a giant meteor in my stomach, weighing me down and burning me to a crisp all at the same time.
Stepping forward, I close the space he’s so carefully left between us. His dark eyes narrow, like he’s trying to figure out just what I’m up to, but I don’t bother to clue him in. He’s a smart guy. I’m pretty sure he’ll figure it out.
We’re so close that I can feel the heat emanating from him now, and it’s such a contrast to the cold that’s taken up residence deep inside me that I can’t resist it. Can’t resist him.
I reach out and press my hands to his chest, relishing the strength of Ian’s powerful muscles beneath my fingers. His eyes turn black, the pupils blowing out even before I move higher and dance my fingertips along his throat to play with the hair at the back of his neck. It’s cool and soft, and I love the way it slides against my skin.
I love even more the way his breath catches in his throat, his hot, hard body crowding against me as I cup the back of his head in my hands. I go up on tiptoes and slowly, carefully, pull his mouth down to mine.
Ian groans before our lips even touch—a dark, hungry sound that shoots straight through me as I close the very last of the distance between us. And then my lips are on his, his lips are on mine, and nothing has ever felt so good.
Like the twinkling lights that crowd the ceiling of my room back at home combined with the effervescence of the jelly beans he gave me back on Glacea.
I nip at his lower lip, and he groans again, deep in his throat this time. I take instant advantage, sucking his lower lip straight between my teeth. He stiffens for a second, and then a shudder runs through him and his arms snake around me.
He pulls me even closer, plastering our bodies together so I can feel all of him against all of me. He’s taking over now, his tongue stealing into my mouth to stroke against my teeth, my tongue, the roof of my mouth. Pleasure slams through me, frissons of need lighting me up from the inside.
I’m the one making noise now, a low, keening whine coming from deep inside me as Ian slides his hands down my back. He cups my ass in his palms and in one effortless motion lifts me up so that he’s carrying me. My arms wrap around his shoulders. My legs wrap around his waist.
He feels good, so good, and I whimper as he spins us so that my back is against the wall. And then I’m arching against him, my body taking over as I press myself against his dick over and over and over again.
The heat grows inside me, and so does the emptiness, until all I can think about is Ian and the feel of him inside me. “Please,” I murmur to him as I trail hot kisses along his jaw, his throat, the sensitive spot behind his ear that makes him growl.
“Please, please, please.” It’s a litany inside me now, a breathless plea falling from my lips over and over again.
And then he’s sliding my legs back down his body until my feet are once again on the floor. He still holds me tightly against him—which is a good thing, considering I’m not sure my trembling knees can support me right now.
But then he’s dropping to his knees in front of me, pulling my zipper down as he goes. “You’re so beautiful,” he mutters as his lips race down the center of my body, over my breastbone and my belly button and then lower, to the very heart of me.
He keeps my jumpsuit mostly on even as he angles us so that the majority of my body is hidden by the powerful width of his—we are still in the back of the galley, after all. And while everyone else is busy, the chance that one of them might walk in here is unlikely but not unheard of.
There’s something sexy about that thought, something forbidden and hot and desperation-inducing, especially when I think about Max being the one to walk in on us.
Or can he see us already?
But then Ian’s fingers are sliding over my mons, pulling down my panties and dancing along the slit of my sex before dipping gently inside.
