Page 139 of Star Bringer
My mind is whirling, and all I can think about is my mother lying to me about my father’s death. Lying to the entire Senestris System about it as she and her Imperial forces enacted a purge designed to wipe the rebels from existence. All those people dead for no reason.
All those people imprisoned and tortured for no reason.
Don’t puke, don’t puke, don’t fucking puke.
The warning to myself comes too late—or maybe it never stood a chance against all the things I’m thinking about. Either way, I end up rushing to the bathroom and vomiting the water Ian insisted I drink after the fight right back up.
There’s nothing else in my stomach—which makes for a delightful vomiting experience—so I brush my teeth before heading back into the bedroom, only to find Rain sitting on the bed.
“Are you okay?” she asks.
“I have a lot to process,” I admit. “I’m just lucky Beckett didn’t decide to kill me.”
Rain looks sad. “She’s hurting, Kali. She’s been hurting for a long time. And she blames your family.”
“She blames me.”
“At first, maybe. Now, not so much. I think she’s beginning to understand that we’re all products of our circumstances. You, me, her, Ian, Max, Gage. Even Merrick. We are who we are because we’ve been taught to be that way. And, except for Gage, we’ve never tried to be more than that.”
“I don’t think I even knew there was more than that,” I tell her.
“Yeah.” She smiles a little sadly. “Me neither.”
But I do now. And ignorance isn’t something I can hide behind anymore.
“Beckett’s also in a lot of pain,” Rain says after we sit in silence for a few minutes. “I mean physical pain. She hides it because she doesn’t want anyone to know, but I can see it. Whatever they did to her on theCaelestisdid more than mess with her mind. It damaged her physically.”
“I know, and I feel terrible about it,” I say honestly. “I wish I could help her.”
“We’re actually helping her right now—or we would be, if we could get theStarlightmoving again,” Rain says. “She believes her brother might be in the same place Milla was sent to. If he’s alive. She thinks Jarved might have been sent to theCaelestisfour years ago like she was and ended up thrown away out there like all the other prisoners who were taken on theReformer.”
It makes a lot of sense. Ian said they use people up out on the asteroids. That they die pretty quickly and the companies just get an influx of more. But then, how could Jarved have lasted this long? If he even survived theCaelestis. I remember Ian’s belief that prisoners had died touching the heptosphere—and with the shape Beckett’s in, I wouldn’t be surprised if they died in other fucked-up experiments, too.
At that moment, Beckett’s voice comes over the comms.
“All crew members to the bridge. Captain’s orders.”
Beckett’s the only one who refers to Ian as Captain—well, besides Ian himself. Rain and I roll our eyes at each other before I sigh and push myself up. Everything aches like I’ve been tossed around and sat on, which I suppose I have.
We’re the last to arrive, and as we walk in, I realize everyone is strapped in. Well, everyone but Gage, who is currently on the ground, messing with some of theStarlight’s controls. Apparently, Ian’s already thin patience has worn out completely.
“Is theStarlightready to move again?” I ask, taking a seat and getting to work on the harness.
“Not yet,” Ian says grimly.
“Then why are we—”
I break off as I suddenly realize what everyone is looking at. TheStarlight’s front viewing screens are unshielded for the first time in days, revealing three ships cruising directly toward us. They’re still a good distance away, but that doesn’t mean anything. Weapons travel far and fast in space.
“What do we know?” I ask.
“Not much,” Ian answers impatiently, “but we’d know more if we had a working comm system and could communicate with them.”
“Fuck off,” Gage mutters.
“Can’t we just outrun them again?” Rain asks.
“Maybe we could.” Ian sounds even more bitter now. “If we had a pilot who could get the ship she’s supposed to be flying to actually, I don’t know,fly.”
