Page 118 of Star Bringer
Funny how I can admit that now that it’s too fucking late.
Shit, I really am as big an ass as she thinks I am.
The bullets are coming in a constant bombardment now, which means they’re getting braver. More brazen. I risk a quick peek over the metal wall thing, and sure enough, they’ve spread out and are heading this way. There are about twenty of them, and while they’re coming in combat formation to evade getting shot by my laser gun, it’s not going to take them long to get to the wall. A few minutes, maybe.
And there’s no way I can take them all out. I’ll go down shooting—so much better than the alternative. But what about Kali?
The fear that comes with that thought cuts through the guilt and has me turning to her. She’s pale, her eyes shadowed, and she’s biting her lip—probably to stop herself from screaming. That leg’s got to hurt bad. She’s being amazingly brave for a princess.
What will happen to her once I’m dead? There’s a good chance that they’ll kill her straightaway—the poster does say wanted dead or alive. But what if they don’t? What if they take her alive? I try to convince myself that they’ll just hand her back to her mother. But I don’t believe it for a moment.
For some reason, these people really want her dead. Which means, if they take her alive, there’s a good chance they’ll torture her for information and then they’ll kill her. Or worse, they’ll traffic her like they did Milla. Just the thought makes me want to hurl. I can’t let it happen.
“What?” she demands all of a sudden. “You’re looking at me funny.”
The words feel disgusting in my mouth. “I can’t save you, Kali.”
“Oh fuck, this must be serious. You’re not calling me princess.”
“You don’t want them taking you alive.” I take a deep breath and then say the last thing I ever wanted to say to her. “I can make sure that doesn’t happen.”
I see the moment my words sink in. Her face goes scarily blank, and she swallows as she glances from my face to the gun in my hand. Then she shakes her head. Emphatically. “No fucking way.” She shakes her head again even more vehemently. “What are you going to do?”
“I’m going down shooting.”
“Then so will I. You’ll just have to help me up.” She clenches her jaw. “Give me the other gun.”
I realize what she means, and I admit I’m relieved. I’m not sure I could shoot her, however much it needs to be done. Though it’s not like I’d need to live with the guilt for long.
“You’re sure?” I ask.
She nods and holds out her hand. It’s shaking. I want to comfort her, but time’s nearly up.
There’s another shooting lull. They’re probably discussing strategy right now.
“Goodbye, Max. I’m sorry.” It’s the first time I’ve spoken to him since this began. “I’m so sorry.”
“Fuck that, Ian. And fuck you! Tell me where you are. Tell me—” His voice breaks.
I don’t answer him. Instead, I do my best to block him out as I grab hold of Kali’s hand and squeeze. Then I slide the gun she nearly killed all of us with into her hand and take a deep breath before reaching for her.
I wrap my arm around her shoulder to support her and because if we’re going to die, I want to be holding her when it happens. Then I use my other hand to reach into my pocket. Pull out the little bag that’s been in there for what feels like ages, which I was going to save for myself when this little adventure was all over.
I take a rueful look at the little rainbow beans. Then I pass the bag to Kali.
“Sugar,” I say. “For you.”
For a second, she says nothing, just looks at the bag with a reverence I’ve only seen on her face once before—the first time she saw snow falling from the sky.
“Thank you,” she whispers. “This means…everything.”
She puts the pistol down next to her and takes the bag, twisting the tie to open it and taking out a few different-colored treats. Then she pops them into her mouth, closing her eyes as she savors each one.
I’ve never seen her look more beautiful.
When she opens her eyes, she holds the bag out to me. “Have you ever had jelly beans before?”
“Never,” I admit. “But now seems like a really great first time.”
