Page 61 of The Time It Takes
“You never said what you thought about what I played tonight,” I said quietly into the silence.
He turned over so that his body faced mine completely. “I didn’t realize you needed me to.”
“I always want to hear what you think.”
His hand reached out like he was going to touch me but seemed to think better of it. “You’re exquisite. Juilliard better lookout.” His tone was lighthearted, but I couldn’t get myself to smile.
I pushed air into my cheeks and bounced it back in forth, trying to decide how honest I wanted to be with him. I let my hand slide across the mattress until it came in contact with his stomach. I really wished he wasn’t wearing a shirt, but I was also grateful that he was. It felt insane to want someone who was right next to you to be closer. Not knowing if he was on the same page terrified the shit out of me.
“It’s about a girl with tragedy born into her blood. A girl who meets a boy for the first time after thinking she already knew him—he takes her by surprise. She finds herself feeling things she hasn’t felt in a long time. Every part of her that was on the verge of becoming numb, awoke at his nearness. He brought her back to life. He showed her light when all she wanted to do was sit in the dark.” My words were nothing but a soft whisper into the dimness of his room.
His eyes were steady on mine and in one swift movement, his arm snaked around my waist, and he was pulling me to him. “I felt it,” he told me gently, his face entirely too close to mine. “I felt it in the way you played. I heard every word.”
“You did?” I breathed.
He dipped his chin and nuzzled his nose against mine. “Don’t you dare forget about me when your dreams come true.”
As much as I wanted my dreams, I felt at such a loss for the distance chasing them would put between us.
My accomplishments were nothing if he wasn’t there cheering me on. It was a little hard to pretend like this would last—this feeling of being so impossibly close to him. What would happen when he was no longer at arm’s reach?
“Take up space, Damsel,” he whispered, his lips pressing into my cheek. “Be a force to be reckoned with.”
I pressed closer, letting his warmth seep into me as he pulled the comforter further up around us. I wanted him to kiss me, but the thought of possibly leaving in the fall made me question things. A part of me was screaming to act now. I knew as well as anyone how quickly people could leave. That time was too short to have second guesses.
Wanting Ollie—needing him was pure instinct.
“You know, one day you’re going to have to stop calling me that.”
“Calling you what?”
“Damsel.”
He grinned and I caught a glimpse of a dimple. “Never.”
I grunted in response, and he let out a breathy laugh.
“You’re my favorite person in the whole world,” I admitted quietly, snaking a hand through his soft hair.
And just when I thought he might kiss me, just when I thought I needed him to, he leaned down and placed a chaste kiss just under my ear. I felt the caress of his breath on my skin as he whispered, “You’re my favorite everything.”
Chapter Twelve
Present
WhenIsaidIwas done pretending, I meant it. I’m done pretending to be anything other than what I am. I dress nicely for dinner and feel stupid for every second I spend getting ready.
I already feel awkward after what happened on the beach this morning. It was embarrassing. Oliver yelling at me and telling me to leave keeps flashing through my mind. How can I face him now?
Shame burns my cheeks at the thought of seeing him and Beth again. I keep making things worse. I called and spoke to my therapist, Dr. Benson, briefly and her advice was to stay. After several minutes of trying to explain how that was a bad idea, I told her I’d think about it. And I did, long and hard. I still have no clue what to do. I don’t know what’s best anymore.
Despite everything, I obey my mother and go along with her dinner plans. I have no idea when I’ll see her again after this. She and Frank didn’t wait for me before leaving. I’m glad we aren’t putting up pretenses at least. I can make peace with that because I’m used to it.
I take my time strolling down the beach as I head toward the house, gathering my bravado.
I realize just how late I am when I slide open the glass door to find everyone already sitting down at the dining room table. Relief rushes through me at acknowledging Beth’s absence. It’s quickly wiped away as everyone’s gaze lifts.
“Shit,” I curse under my breath.
