Page 127 of The Time It Takes
Still keeping my eyes closed, I smile. “A friend dropped it off.”
“A friend,” he repeats. The brightness of the sun disappears as a shadow hovers over me. “What friend would that be?”
My eyes flutter open to find him standing over me, his hands in the pockets of his slacks. He’s wearing a long sleeve black button-up shirt that clings to his lean build. My mouth waters at the sight of him.
He knows exactly who I’m talking about, and his jealousy only gets me more riled up. After a moment, I sigh. “Julian stopped by earlier this morning. He was just checking on me. The wine is from Abigail. Her husband owns a winery.”
Oliver only stares at me, and I notice the hard lines surrounding his eyes. I sit up in the lounge chair and swing my legs off the side. “What’s wrong?”
He shakes his head, running his thumb over my cheek in a soft caress. “Nothing’s wrong.” The corner of his mouth lifts when I lean into his touch.
“You are a terrible liar, Mr. Grayson,” I murmur, nuzzling my nose into his palm. I don’t miss the way his pupils dilate. A knowing laugh rumbles through me as sin vibrates around us. I stand and his hand slides to my waist. “What’s on your mind?” I ask, running an innocent finger up and down the buttons of his shirt.
His hand squeezes my hip and then he says the last thing I thought he’d say, “I’m jealous of him—not in the way that you’re thinking, but in the way that he’s gotten to know you.”
I tilt my head as I observe him. “You know me better,” I remind him.
He shakes his head and tugs me closer to him. “He knows your body and your heart. I know your soul and that it belongs with mine but…” My lips part slightly. “I’m jealous because he got to be there for you in ways that I wish it could have been me. I’m jealous because I know you better than anyone and I let you go when I should have fought for you to stay. I was a fool to let you walk away when I knew you still needed me.”
I rest my hands on his biceps. “I’m glad you did.” When he frowns, I continue, “With you, I always had a choice. It’s one of the many things I love about you. I always knew that no matter what the end would come to, you’d be beside me. As a friend or lover or both.”
He reaches up to tug at a strand of my hair. “Maybe back then, yes, but I don’t think I’d let you go now. If there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that time will always be against us and I’m so sick of wasting it without you.”
I close my eyes because he always knows what to say. My mind wanders back in time to when we had a similar conversation. When I open my eyes, I smile, feeling the rush of a thousand lifetimes colliding. “I’ll waste all my days with you, every damn second of them.”
My eyes roam his face. “I think it’s important for you to know that I never forgot about you—not for a second.” I shake my head, hoping he never really believed what he said to me on the pier. “Most days I was just a girl trapped inside a body that stopped feeling like hers. I needed to learn how to remember myself first.”
Stepping closer to him, I link our pinkies together. “But this? What we have? Even being in the same room with you revives me. I didn’t realize I was suffocating without you until I saw you again.” I take a breath. “I realized something when I was driving Ben’s car the other day. Life is fast so we have to be faster or else we’re going to miss it all. Like you said that night on the beach so long ago, I’m your person and I’m done pretending that I don’t need mine.”
He presses his lips briefly to mine, cupping both sides of my face. When he pulls away there’s a new intensity there that makes my heart do little leaps. “I have a quote for you,” he says softly.
My hands grip his wrists, making sure he doesn’t take his hands away. “What is it?”
“I loved her against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be.”
It’s been too long since we’ve played this game. My entire body starts to tingle as the numbness wears off.
“Great Expectations,” I breathe. “Charles Dickens.”
He nods, using his thumb to pull my bottom lip out from my teeth. “Right on the money,” he murmurs with a cheesy smile.
We become stuck in a trance as we look at one another; our hands trailing along each other’s body as if in silent memory. This must be what it feels like to be present and not have to worry about anything else. Except…
“There’s something else I should tell you.”
“I’m all ears, Damsel.” His hands lace with mine as he steps back, sitting down on a lounge chair and pulling me with him. I straddle his lap as I wrap my arms around his neck.
“My mom left last night, but this morning I got a call from your mom.” Oliver’s eyebrows dip in thought. “She’s giving me the house,” I say, my voice cracking. He holds me a little tighter. “Colleen called to tell me she was taking it off the market and that if I wanted to still go through with selling it, I could.”
“Is that what you want?” he asks quietly.
I shake my head, tears building in my eyes, yet somehow, I manage to laugh a little. Diverting my emotions, I pick up my wine glass to take a sip. “Hell no,” I blurt honestly. “I mean of course there are bad memories, but they’ll never top the good. It was a broken home, but it was still that—a home. Ben made it that way. I’m sure I’ll sell it someday, but not yet. Not until I know I’m ready to let everything go. I’ve lost too many parts of myself. I’d like to keep something as a reminder of who I used to be before life punched me in the gut.”
“If that’s what you want, then it’s what I want too.” His voice carries softly to my ears, and I find myself leaning closer toward him.
When he tries to break the distance, I move away with a playful smile. He groans, pressing his hardness into me. I set my glass of wine on the table beside us. I start to unbutton his shirt slowly, not once taking my eyes off his.
“I want to surf with you during storms again. I want to stay up reading books with you until we fall asleep in the middle of paragraphs.” I undo the last button and his shirt falls open, revealing his tattooed torso. I lick my lips, tasting the remnants of red wine. “I want to go on long car rides and scream the lyrics of our favorite songs at the top of our lungs. I want to sit beneath the stars every night with you and talk about our day. I want to wake up in the middle of the night and dance around the house in nothing but your t-shirt. I want to roll over in our bed and find you there. I want bonfires and movies. I want to spend the rest of time proving just how mercilessly I love you. I want to do life with you because I can’t bear to do it withou—”
