Page 124 of The Time It Takes
I smirk. “Don’t let her sweet face fool you. She’s trouble. She reminds me so much of him that it hurts sometimes.” The truth in my statement makes my smile falter. Oliver walks toward me and wraps his arms around me.
I listen to the rhythm of his heart against my ear, and everything ceases to exist. Everything else becomes background noise.
“It’s a good kind of hurt,” I say into his chest. “It’s the kind of hurt that screams love.”
The only thing that began to matter was her. I will spend the rest of my life ensuring that Lily was happy and content. I will spend the rest of my life being her aunt Lo—as she calls me. Willow was just too hard for her to say at first, but the nickname stuck, and I’ve grown to love it.
Then in the next moment, I can’t believe what I’m hearing coming from his lips. “You can’t stay here.”
I draw back and look at him with a puzzled expression. “What?” I breathe.
His hands cup both sides of my face. “I can’t ask you to stay here,” he says, but I can almost see the regret in his eyes as he does. “Not if she’s there.”
I push his hands away. I did not tell him all of that to have him tell me to leave. “No,” I say, getting up and walking around him. “No,” I repeat before spinning to face him. “She has her family. She has her home. She doesn’t need me, Ollie. I never said I would stop seeing her. I’ll always be a part of her life. Distance won’t change that.”
He strides toward me once more, laying his hands on my shoulders. “I know that.” He runs his palms down my arms until he’s holding my hands. “I know that, but I can’t expect you to stay. I can’t ask that of you.”
“You’ve been misunderstanding me. I’m staying at no one’s request but my own. I want to be here. Can’t you see that?” I glance down at the butterfly on his chest. “What about whatIneed?”
“What do you need, Damsel?” His eyebrows knit together when I glance back up at him.
I place my palm on his chest. “To come home,” I whisper.
When his hand covers mine, I step closer to him. I let his scent cling to every muscle and vein in my body. He’s everywhere and in this moment, I’ve never felt more certain about something in my entire life. There’s nothing more that I want than to spend the rest of my life with my best friend.
I lean closer, his lips inches from mine. “I’m not going anywhere, not unless you’re going with me,” I tell him. I stand up on my tip toes so that my lips graze his. “What do you need, Ollie?” I ask him feverishly.
He doesn’t hesitate. “You,” he breathes. “Just you.”
And then he kisses me hard.
THE WORD FOR LOVE THAT HAS NO PLACE TO GO.
Ten years ago
Everyone’swordswerethesame.
He’s in a better place.
He’s watching over you now.
He was a good man. What a shame.
Give it time. This will make sense in time.
Stay strong, Willow. Be strong for your mother.
I glanced over at my mother sitting next to me in the aisle of chairs my friends helped me set up earlier on the boat. I watched as a tear slid down her cheek, her body cowered over as she cried silently behind her sunglasses.
I reached out my hand to place it over hers, but she denied me. It was an odd feeling—to have my mother here and wish it were Ben sitting next to me instead. It was sick to think such a nasty thought. She hadn’t spoken to me once. If I thought I’d lost her before, she was really gone now. And me? I was completely alone.
Either way, she was my mother and while I’d just lost my brother, she lost her son. I tried to reach for her hand again because it occurred to me that maybe I needed her. When she yanked her hand away from me again, my chest pinched. A warm hand came down on my shoulder. I didn’t have to look behind me to know that it was Oliver.
It was too much. His touch. My breathing quickened and it felt like there was black smoke stuck in my lungs.
I stood quickly, knowing my demeanor was about to come crashing down. I made my way toward the stern of the boat. I stumbled toward the side with only a few seconds to spare before my grief came pouring out of my mouth until my throat turned raw.
I sat like that for what felt like an eternity when I felt his presence behind me. As much as his touch seemed revolting, I had nowhere else to go. No other place to call home.
