Page 96 of Urgent Vows
"Yes. Domenico will scrub the Internet of the videos."
"He can do that?"
"Not quickly. Finding bootleg copies and deleting them will take time, maybe even years."
"But you're going to have him do it?" I ask anxiously.
"Yes."
"Thank you." It's grudging, but sincere. I don't want those videos out there.
"You are my wife."
We lay side by side in silence after that. I should be able to sleep. I'm still tired, but my mind won't shut off. Severu turns toward me; I'm on my back looking up at the ceiling.
He brushes his fingers up and down my arm. It makes me tingle, but it also relaxes me. So, I go with it and let my body melt into the bed.
"What about Candilora and Giovi?" he asks.
"What about them?"
"Would either of them betrayla famiglia?"
"No. My uncle was a capo in Detroit. He's above reproach."
"I thought my consigliere was above reproach too, but I was wrong. Maybe Giovi resented having to step down as capo to move here with his wife after your mother died."
"He would have had to step down at some point. They never had any children."
I must fall asleep soon after that because I don't remember anything else until I wake up the next morning.
Chapter 31
SEVERU
Last night was a total clusterfuck. If I'd listened to my gut, I would not have woken my wife to interrogate her. I would have waited until this morning to ask her about the rest of the Jilani household.
Instead, I treated her like a suspect. It hurt her and I don't like it.
She's my wife and it's my job to protect her. Just like I take care of and protectla famiglia.
I need to do something to make up for it. Something that shows her that I do trust her. She trusted me with her deepest secrets, and I shit all over that.
I do not feel shame for the men I've hurt, tortured, or killed. I don't feel guilty for running a criminal enterprise. I like the look of fear I see in a politician's eyes when I single him, or her, out at a fundraiser. It does not bother me that my men know I will kill them for betrayal and sometimes for failure.
I was born to this life and will die in it.
But I felt shame when Catalina taunted me, daring me to hit her. Because I could see beyond the anger in her hazel eyes. I saw the uncertainty, the hopeless belief that I might do it.
I never want to see that look again.
And I don't want her to look at me like a pile of shit when I want to touch her. She didn't let me put the cream on her bruises again this morning and when I went to carry her into the bathroom for our shower, she slapped my hands away.
"I climbed up and down the stairs in the mansion with broken ribs. I can walk to the bathroom with bruised ones."
Fuck.
CATALINA
