Page 39 of Urgent Vows
Reminding myself that it was my beautiful sister he wanted in his bed tonight doesn't stop the emotions washing over me like a tsunami as my body experiences sensual pleasure. Athistouch.
It isn't just my emotional vulnerability to this man that scares me. Some of the girls at school said it hurt like heck the first time, others said it was no big deal.
With how tight I am and how oversized his erection is, it's going to hurt. A lot. And Istillcrave both the physical connection and the emotional one my heart will make.
He breaks his mouth away from mine, and curses. Like he doesn't want to stop kissing me. "Are you on birth control?" he asks in a strained voice.
Why on earth would I be? I had no idea I would be getting married today. "No."
"You know I need children."
Not hewantschildren, much less with me. Heneedsthem. But I do know. For the security ofla famiglia.
"Yes."
"We haven't talked about it though, whether you are ready for me to plant my baby in your womb."
Near barbaric delight courses through me at the way he says it. I can only answer one way. "I am."
I had hoped that someday, after I ran from the mafia, I would find a man to love and who would also love me and want to build a family, but part of me believed I would never have that. Never know the joy of motherhood.
I want it though. Almost as much as I want Severu.
He nods, but I cannot tell if my agreement has pleased him or not. "I'm clean, Catalina. I don't want to use a condom."
I don't want any barriers between us either. "Then don't."
His body jerks forward, the head of his hardon breaching my vagina. My flesh stretches almost painfully around him.
He stops moving again and grimaces. "Are you clean?"
"I showered this morning." Why does he care about my bathing habits right now?
Is he a germaphobe, or something? Only he already had his tongue inside me, why would he be more worried about putting his penis there?
"Damn it, Catalina, when was the last time you got tested?"
"Tested for what?" I'm starting to feel dirty, like there's something wrong with me.
"Are you serious right now?" he asks with a humorless laugh. "You've never been tested for STDs?"
"Why would I be?" You have to have sex to get a sexually transmitted disease and I'd never even kissed a man before Severu.
"You're twenty-five."
"So?" What does my age have to do with anything? And when can we get back to the touching and kissing?
This is all starting to feel really clinical and I don't like it. I'm nervous enough as it is. I don't need him turning into my gynecologist. Not that I've ever actually seen one of those. Papà isn't keen on yearly physicals, much less his daughters seeing that kind of specialist.
"You don't have a boyfriend."
It's not a question, but I answer anyway and I'm feeling testy. "First off, if I had a boyfriend, don't you think I would have mentioned that before I agreed to marry you? Secondly, where would I meet this mythical creature? In my back yard?"
Regardless of mafia culture, I'm not against sex outside of marriage. Maybe because my father makes such a big deal about keeping Carlotta and mepure. Anything important to him is suspect in my eyes.
But when would I have had the chance? I lived as a practical prisoner in my father's house and have since finishing boarding school.
"Your father has men."
