Page 57 of Urgent Vows
"But she's beautiful."
"So are you."
I shake my head. Him calling mehis sweet beautydoesn't change reality. It's just a term of endearment anyway. "My looks are nothing special."
"That is a lie."
"I don't lie to you." I hate lying at all, but you learn deception in a home where it can be the difference between going to bed with bruises, or not.
"Then it is a lie you believe. You…" He kisses the top of my left breast. "Are…" He does the same to my right. "Beautiful…" His lips press against my collar bone, making me shiver with delight. "And…" His mouth moves up my neck. "Sexy." He takes my mouth with claim staking intensity.
When he lifts his lips from mine his espresso eyes are nearly black with desire. "I want you."
"I don't understand." He'd wanted me like I wanted him. He hadnotwanted my sister, but he was still going to marry her. "It makes no sense."
"I'd given my word."
"Until the engagement was announced, you could have changed your mind, especially if it meant marrying another woman from the same family." Even after really. As the don, he could have changed his mind without repercussions.
As yesterday and his created narrative showed.
"Letting the others believe I'd rejected your sister for you was necessary; It was the lesser of two evils."
That's not what I meant. He's referring to our wedding. I was referring to his choice to marry Carlotta despite knowing he wanted me and that I wanted him. My heart hurts.
Which makes me sarcastic when I reply to his comment. "Right, because the big, bad, macho mafia don couldn't be humiliated by a runaway bride."
I'm blisteringly angry and I'm not even sure why. I don't get angry. I cannot allow myself to give into negative emotions. It's not safe. Or itwasn'tsafe while I lived with my father.
But I'm furious now. Because despite wanting me, hehadn'trejected Carlotta for me. He'd left me to my father's mercy, or lack thereof. He'd been prepared to consign my sister to not only a loveless, but also a passionless marriage.
Maybe his cruelty isn't reserved for his role as don of the mafia.
"It wasn't about being humiliated. It was about showing strength, cementing my power in their minds. If I couldn't control my fiancée, then maybe I couldn't control my Cosa Nostrafamiglia? Maybe we are vulnerable to encroachment and attack."
"A weak don is a dead don." I'd heard that phrase often enough.
"Exactly."
"You knew you wanted me before the announcement of the engagement. You could have become engaged to me instead. My father couldn't have denied you."
Severu was the one man in all of the Cosa Nostra that could have forced my father to let him marry me.
"I did not want to."
Savage hurt claws at my heart. Whether he wanted me, or not, I wasn't worth making the effort for.
"Do not look at me like that."
Unable to change my feelings, I turn my head so he can't see them on my face.
But he cups my cheeks with both his hands and lifts my head so our eyes meet. "Carlotta was safe. I knew you weren't."
"What do you mean safe?"
"I didn't want to marry, but I recognized it needed to be done for the good ofla famiglia. I definitely didn't want a wife that would haunt my every waking moment and even my dreams."
Is he saying that I do?
