Page 134 of Urgent Vows
I nod. "I probably need therapy."
"If you want to see a therapist, I will make it happen."
I can't hold back the words any longer. "I love you, Severu, with everything in me."
He stares down at me. "You love me? You're sure?"
"Oh, yes."
"How? How are you sure?"
"Because it fills my heart to bursting. The idea of a day without you hurts more than any day I spent with Francesco."
He kisses me and we end up making love on the floor of his office, the door to the safe gaping open above us.
I'm tracing lines on his chest and marveling at how much joy I have now. I have a family who loves me, staff that cares about me enough to check up on me. A husband who protects me and takes care of me and wants me to be myself and no one else.
"I'm so happy," I say.
"I am too." He sits up and pulls me onto his naked thighs. "I am not a good man,mi dolce bellezza. I am selfish and arrogant, but I got my comeuppance when I married you."
"What do you mean?" But I know what he's talking about. I'm not easy. He can't just pretend I don't exist and that makes me very happy.
"If you are not the center of my thoughts, you are close by. I'm jealous as hell. I need your body like air. And you are the first thing I consider when I make decisions, notla famiglia. You. I'm negotiating a blood alliance with the fucking Irish because it means you will be safer."
"Do you love me, Severu?" Will he admit it?
"Is love the inability to see you hurting without fixing it? Is it craving your body even when I'm so physically spent I can barely move? Is it finding time to spend with you regardless of responsibility? Is it wanting to be a better man? Is it trusting you more than any other person?"
I can't answer. My throat is too clogged with tears.
"If that is love, then yes, I love you, Catalina. But it feels like something bigger than such a small word."
I swipe at the wetness on my cheeks. "I think love is bigger than the stars in the sky."
"It's the birth of a new galaxy in my heart."
Maybe even a whole new universe. "I love you so much." I kiss him.
He says the words again when he is inside me, my legs draped over each side of his hips, our bodies one. "I love you beyond death, Catalina."
Epilogue
10 Months Later
CATALINA
I breathe into the stretch as I bend forward and let my fingertips brush my yoga mat and feel no pain. It still surprises me even though I've been fully healed from my surgery for several months and had my last physical therapy session last week.
It definitely got worse before it got better though. Recovery after the surgery was hard with lots of pain. Carlotta surprised everyone when she insisted on helping me through recovery. She took time off from culinary school and was there every day, keeping me entertained and encouraging me.
She and my new family spoiled me rotten.
But Severu was my rock. He believed in me, and my full recovery. I had no choice but to believe in it myself.
They had to break my bone and insert a metal rod when they reset it because after the first break, I didn't get the follow up care I should have. There was also scar tissue that needed removing. The specialist told us it was a miracle I had not lost mobility years ago to atrophied muscles and shrunken tendons.
Severu didn't agree. "It wasn't a miracle; it was my amazing wife's strength of will. She does Yoga every single day and manages pain with a fortitude I wish every one of my men had."
