Page 132 of Urgent Vows
Now that I am alone though, I cannot stop from going to the books filling the two top shelves of one of the bookcases. The books my father taunted me with, the only gifts he ever gave me while lavishing Carlotta with everything a mafia princess could desire.
One each birthday and Christmas since I was ten. They are all written in Latin. It was his way of rubbing in my supposed ignorance.
They became my secret rebellion. First, as a place to safely hide the money in my runaway fund, and later as a source of pride in my own accomplishment. He couldn't read the books, but eventually, I could.
He never knew I learned to read Latin, auditing the class at boarding school so it didn't show up on my transcripts. I took my education beyond that with personal study until I could read every single one. Books by Cattulus, Augustine of Hippo, Virgil, Ovid, Horatio, Petronius and the rest.
My hands shaking, though I don't know why, I pull one of them off the shelf. Simply holding it gives me a sense of peace, of agency over my own life. Although I would never run away from Severu, knowing I have the option is probably something I'll always need after what I went through with my father.
I open the book, flipping the pages in an accordion fashion. For a moment, it feels like my heart stops beating. No. This cannot be right. I cannot believe what I'm seeing.It's empty.
I pull out another, and another until I've checked all of the books I used to hide the money I'd saved. They are all empty.
Did Luigi find the money when he was packing the books and take it to give to Severu? But why? This is not my father's house; I am allowed to have my own money.
I vigorously shake each book again, like the money will magically fall from between the pages. Even though I've seen with my own eyes every single dollar I so carefully stashed between them is gone. A piece of paper falls out of one.
I grab it and nearly rip it unfolding it.
It's a letter in Carlotta's handwriting.
Dear Catalina,
I had to borrow your running away money. I bet you didn't think I knew you had it. You should have told me. I would never have told Papà.
Anyway, I know you'll understand that I need it. I just can't marry that man. I need to go away for a while until Papà calms down and sees sense. I'm too young to get married. Even Severu's sister got to attend four years at university. I just want to go to cooking school. The program I want is only two years long.
It's not fair that I can be married off like a piece of property. I'm not one of Papà's possessions. I am his daughter. He loves me. I know he does, but right now he's blinded by his desire to connect our family with the don's.
When I get back, I'll sell my engagement ring and pay you back. I can't right now, not until everything has settled down and both Papà and the don have realized that any marriage between me and Severu would be a disaster. He's so old and he scares me, if you want the truth.
Anyway, I love you,soru.
See you soon!
Carlotta
P.S. I'm glad you won't run before I get back. I don't want you to run at all. Once I sell the ring, we'll have enough money to get an apartment together. It's all going to be so amazing.
I read the letter over and over again, but the words do not change. My emergency stash is gone. My sister took it. And she never said a word when we were talking about her future.
I feel like I can't breathe and my chest is tight. Am I having a heart attack? I'm only twenty-five. I'm too young.
It's all gone.
"Catalina, what is wrong?" Severu kneels down beside me on the floor. "Did you fall and injure yourself?"
"She took it." I grab his arms urgently. "She took all of it."
"All of what?"
"My emergency stash. It was my safety net and it's gone. I need it," I gasp out. "It keeps me safe."
He pulls me into him. "Ikeep you safe."
"You don't understand. I need it."
He's silent for several long seconds and then he says, "I will help you get it back. What did your sister take from you?"
