Page 24 of Bedazzled
She does, slowly at first but I slapped her hard on the ass and she yelps pleasurably.
This cannot be slow, it’s too much we have to finish before I break…
I slapped her again, and again, feeling her tighten against my cock. “Faster,” I said hoarsely, trying to move ahead of the pain and grabbing her ass, bouncing her up and down as quickly as I could. Her warm hands go to my shoulders, trying to hold on. Trying to slow me down.
“Shh,” she whispered, “stay with me. We can do fast and hard later. Just kiss me, okay?”
She was too close to me, too warm and soft. I wanted to stay buried inside her where I did not have to be strong. I did not have to think.
My hips moved faster.I cannot be weak. I cannot break.
We were getting closer, I know her breathing, how her eyes dilate and how she gasped.
Faster, faster get ahead of it.
My eyes are wet. I cannot be crying. I have not cried since I was a boy, I cannot.
Make her come. Hurry, do not let her see this hurry hurry…
I did the thing I knew would set my Tania off, and pushed the heel of my hand hard against her abdomen, right where my cock was pressing against her from deep inside.
She gasped, contracting so tightly against me that it was impossible to move inside her. She took my face between her hands, looking into my eyes and she was weeping. When she shuddered against me, I came too, shocked, moaning into her mouth as it hit me out of nowhere, making me shake and push deeper inside her.
Tania’s hands did not move from my jaw as she put her lips against the scar on my face tenderly, making soft kisses along its long, ugly slash against my skin. We gazed at each other, our cheeks wet and I pulled her against me, wrapping my arms around her.
We finally climbed into bed, where we were fused together, one organism with two hearts, hers wide open and mine shredded and useless. “I love you, too,moye serdtse,”I whisper, “my heart.”
Tania sighs contentedly, resting against me as I stare across the room, finally dry-eyed.
I cannot stay. I cannot be here or I will break into too many pieces to put together again.
I have to go home. To St. Petersburg.
I watched as the sky’s purple shade faded to violet, to pink and then, shades of orange and yellow.
Rising heavily, I gritted my teeth against the red flare of pain in my chest and got dressed. Seating myself at her desk, I pulled out a piece of paper and started writing.
My beloved Tania,
I cannot stay here. I am returning to St. Petersburg to take over the family’s business there.
Our time together has been the best of my life. I am sorry I must say goodbye. But I must.
Yuri
Tania…
My hand holding the paper is shaking. That son of a bitch.
I was naked and sitting at my desk and I was trembling hard enough to make my teeth chatter. That heartless bastard.
We could not have been closer last night without actually crawling inside each other. When we came together, I’d seen his soul in his eyes, I saw that reservoir of pain and anguish I’d always known he held there, and I thought we felt it together.
Would it have always played out like this? Even if he hadn’t been kidnapped and tortured? Eventually, would Yuri have just smiled his pretty smile and told me I was no longer necessary via my purloined stationery? Because I wasn’t important enough to him to talk to in person, not important enough to be honest?
All my insecurities flared like a nuclear bomb strike, obliterating everything I’d worked for. Not rich enough to go to Ivy League schools. Not tall enough. Not pretty enough. The little girl with the unmanageable hair and cheap clothes. Not deserving enough for a man to treat me like a human being with a heart and feelings.
I’d told Yuri the truth. Dumping those other guys wasn’t hard. I wasn’t even surprised when they turned out to be assholes. But I knew he was going to tear a strip off my heart and leave me bleeding out, and Istillsaid yes to one more date.
