Page 26 of Shattered Sinner
“Hold on.” My father put his hand up as a sign for my mother to stop talking. It was beyond rude, but my father didn’t have his politician mask on so this is what we got. “What is it that you want, Bianca?”
"I don’t know. I want to care about the person I marry. Hell, I want love," I said, hoping that I didn’t start crying. "I want love, Dad. I don't want to be stuck in a loveless marriage just because it’ll save your asses. I don’t care if those photos are released because there’s nothing in those pictures that I’m doing that hasn’t been done by countless other college students before.”
“Watch your mouth,” my father said as he frowned and glared at me. His stance made me wonder if he was going to strike me, but he seemed to keep his composure. “And love? You're being naïve. Love doesn't put food on the table. Love doesn't win elections. Love doesn't build a legacy. You need to think about the bigger picture here."
I swallowed my tears and steadied myself by taking deep breaths in through my nose and out through my mouth. I needed to remain calm. “What I need to be thinking about is the fact that this isn’t about the photos at all. This is so you can make even more money and who knows what else.”
“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about,” my father replied.
By the deepening color in his cheeks, I knew that I was right.
"You can try to lie to me, and potentially Mom, because who knows how much you actually tell her, but we all know the truth. Regardless, I'm an adult, this is my life, and I decide what happens in it. If you're so gung-ho about all of this, why don't you divorce Mom and then you can marry Tristan. No one's stopping you from doing that."
My father scoffed, his face darkening considerably. He took several steps toward me and this time, I was convinced that he was going to hit me based on the speed that he was traveling. I'd pushed him so close to the edge, that out of the corner of my eye, I saw my mother get up as if she might interfere if need be.I couldn’t help but wonder if she was getting up to protect me or to protect my father from himself.
Instead, my father stared at me with an intensity that made my blood rush to my ears. “I hate that I have to say this again, but I’ll tell you one more time. You will do as I say and marry Tristan or else I will ruin your life without remorse. You may think that you know what you’re doing and what it takes to succeed in this world, but trust me when I say that you don’t. Your mistakes have the potential to ruin the lives of those closest to you. So cut this nonsense out and fall in line.”
When my mother didn’t say a peep to agree or contradict what my father said, I hated that I was hurt, but also found it interesting that she didn’t jump to his defense. However, I didn’t have any time to explore that now.
"Whatever,” I said, as I looked toward the exit. "Do what you want. But know that I won't go down without a fight. You can bet everything you own that I'll find a way out of this, even if it means going against you and everything you stand for."
I side-stepped my father so that I could leave and stormed out of my childhood home without taking a moment to look at the two people who had raised me. Fuck that and fuck them. I could hear my mother's voice calling after me as I walked away, but I didn't turn back. There was nothing left to discuss. I was going to do whatever it took to maintain control over my own life, even if it meant going against everything my family stood for.
I jumped into my car without another word and closed the doors behind me. I took out my phone and sent a text message to the one person I knew could distract me from the pain I was feeling.
Me: Are you home?
Easton: Yes, why?
Me: Because I’ll be over there shortly.
15
BIANCA
Iran a hand across my cheek as I wiped the tear that fell from the corner of my eye. I put both hands back on the steering wheel and clenched the wheel between my fingers as rage simmered within me.
It had taken me a long time to get to this point, but this was what it felt like to be completely helpless when it came to changing someone’s opinion of you. How could they be so cruel? Especially to their own flesh and blood. How could I be so stupid as to think that I could go back there and change their minds after I showed good faith by going out to dinner with Tristan? They’d confirmed once more that I was nothing more than a pawn in their sick little game of politics and power.
But that was now behind me, at least for now.
I was on my way to Easton’s to think about anything but my parents.
Easton.
My chest tightened at the thought of him, making it slightly hard to breathe. A confusing mix of emotions swirled through me as I pictured him.
Anger.
Happiness.
Betrayal.
Salvation.
Melded within everything was a hunger I couldn't satisfy. An ache for the one thing that made me feel alive.
Him.
