Page 90 of A Lifetime of Afters
I spun and narrowed my eyes at them, pressing my finger over my lips. I wanted to be the one to tell him. At the right time.
I walked, sedately, to the door, then threw myself into his arms as soon as he opened it.
“Baby!” He wrapped me up and lifted me up against his chest. “Fuck, I’ve missed you.” He pressed his mouth to mine. “I’ve missed you so much. Are you okay?”
I couldn’t manage more than a nod. “Mhm!”
Leaning back an inch, he studied my eyes. “You okay?” His strong arms held me securely.
I relaxed in his hold. “Yes,” I nodded. “Are you?” I searched his eyes for shadows and found none.
“I am,” he asserted, kissing my nose. “This next part will be difficult, but I need to do it. All these years, I’ve never come to celebrate him, and I want to do that today. Will you cross your fingers for me?”
My greedy eyes caressed his face. “I can do that.”
He smiled. “Of course, you can.”
“Uh, son?” Dan interrupted. “We’re all more than a little confused, more than a little concerned. You want to let us in on what’s been going on?”
Dipping to put my feet back on the floor, Hawk tucked my hair behind my ear and kissed my forehead before nudging me in the direction of Max and my dad.
“Can we sit down in the living room? All together?” he asked.
Dad and Max led me to the couch and sandwiched me between them.
Dan sat in his usual chair, looking deceptively relaxed. Lou crossed to perch on the stool beside him, leaning hard against his legs. Dan placed his hand against her lower back, lending her his support.
Harley curled into the loveseat next to her brother.
Hawk cleared his throat and sought my eyes.
I nodded encouragement.
He took a deep breath and began. “Before I left, I told you the truth about what happened the day Hunter died. And my part in it.”
Lou made to interrupt but Hawk held up his hand. “It’s okay, Momma. I’m okay.”
Lou made a strangled noise in her throat causing Dan to reach for her and guide her onto his lap.
Hawk smiled at his mom before continuing. “When I cleared out Hunter’s room, I found a collection of old-school folders full of looseleaf paper. One folder for each year, and inside he had written his goals for that year. He,” Hawk paused and cleared his throat, “had just finished that year’s list. I kept it.”
“Not only that, but I looked through the rest of them. At first, I felt guilty, but after a while, I realized this was his legacy. The best of him that he left with us. His sense of fun and adventure. His willingness to try new things, grab life by the horns. His love for his family. I can’t tell you how many times all of our names showed up on his lists throughout the years. Things I thought were spontaneous or a lucky blessing, Hunter had planned to the nth degree.”
“The car he found for me to restore? That was the exact make and model I wanted? He had that on his list.”
“The angel investor that came through for the golf course renovation that stole half of Dad’s hair?”
Everyone laughed. Except for Dan, who growled at his son before telling him his time was coming.
Hawk continued, “Hunter secured that. And those are just two examples. Two big ones. There are dozens of small ones. Each one of us is named.”
“Dad, you asked me to do the eulogy at Hunter’s funeral.” Hawk’s mouth twisted with sorrow. “I wanted to, I just couldn’t. Not without you knowing the truth.”
Dan’s jaw cracked. He managed a brief nod as he wiped under his eyes.
“If I could go back, this is what I would say.”
Lou sucked in a breath, her hand going to her chest.
