Page 79 of A Lifetime of Afters
“Santa was very good to me,” I purred, tilting my head to showcase the pear-shaped diamond earrings he bought to match my mother’s necklace.
“Nice,” she nodded her approval. “Was Santa good to you, Hawkley?”
He grinned. “She had to improvise a bit, but I have no complaints.”
“Oh my gosh, Hawk,” I cut in, my face flaming. “Your present is under this tree.”
“Why is it under this tree?”
Why, indeed. Because less than a week ago I didn’t think I’d be waking up with him on Christmas morning. Once he came back, I deemed his new body board too big to cart back and forth. And I wanted to ensure he got it in case he changed his mind about me. About us. I shrugged. “It’s just the way it worked out.”
Something in my face gave me away.
Leaning over, he kissed me lightly on the mouth. “Thank you in advance. From now on, feel free to keep my gift at home with you. Because that’s where I’ll be.”
His words lit up my entire body. I beamed at him, surprised my eyes didn’t light up like twin headlights.
Harley showed next, sans Paul, followed by Max shortly afterward. It wasn’t until after dinner that Hawkley began to show signs of stress.
Tummies full of turkey, family story time arrived, and everyone had a story to tell. Every time Hunter’s name came up, Hawk’s body tensed as if bracing for a hit, afraid of what he might hear? Or feel?
“Are you okay?”
His stormy eyes met mine, and this time he waited a beat before shuttering his pain.
“We’ll go soon, okay?”
He shook his head, murmuring, “I don’t want to ruin your first Christmas back.”
“The only thing that could ruin this most perfect day would be if you were unhappy. Let’s go now while everything is still shiny and bright.” I leaned in, my breasts brushing against his abdomen. “We’ll celebrate more at home.”
Smiling down at me, his eyes lit with interest. “Yeah?”
I nodded and twinkled up at him. “You need more exposure therapy for your phobia.”
Pulling me close, he pressed his mouth against my ear, his voice low. “For that, you’re sitting on my face.”
“That’s not exactly a deterrent,” I answered breathily, the visual in my head parting my lips.
His sharp eyes missed nothing. “You’re already there in your head.” He pressed his lips to my forehead. “Time to say goodbye.”
Chapter Twenty-nine - All of Me
In the days following Christmas, the darkness hounded him.
It didn’t drag him under and send him into hibernation, but it accompanied him like an unwelcome guest, announcing its presence in every room. A detectable heaviness no amount of teasing or loving could lift.
And it was no wonder. Under the practiced smile that never reached his eyes, lay an ancient, open wound.
How could he blame himself?
He’d always taken responsibility for all of us, perhaps that was the problem?
He avoided talking about it. Instead, he took off on long walks, leaving for hours at a time, only marginally more settled when he returned.
Laying side-by-side in his bed after one of his marathon walks, I stroked his unruly hair back off his forehead.
Bruce curled up in the curve of Hawk’s bent knees. They’d become friends of a sort. It could be the fact that Hawk outfitted his house for Bruce by adding a cat tree at each wall of windows, and two plush beds, one of which lay in the corner of our bedroom. I’d have been jealous of their blossoming bromance if I wasn’t so proud of both of them.
