Page 14 of A Lifetime of Afters
I’d often wondered if he knew how I felt about Hawk. The tone of his voice gave indication that he did. “What do you mean? Surely the snowplows have been out by now?” Panic began to claw its way up into my throat.
“It’s a mess out there, honey,” he answered gently. “Dozens of trees are down, cars buried. We got twice as much snow as expected. It’s going to take a few days to dig everybody out.” He paused. “Are you going to be okay there?”
I swallowed. Hard. Then cleared my throat. “Yeah. Yeah, Dad. I’ll be fine.” I forced out another chuckle. “It’s Hawkley you should be worried about.”
He snorted. “If that boy had two brain cells they’d run away together.”
I giggled. Both warmed and embarrassed that he knew the truth about my situation. “I’ll be fine, Dad. Uh, can you not tell anyone I’m here yet?”
“My lips are zipped,” he promised.
“Can’t wait to see you,” I admitted, not realizing until that moment how much I’d missed him.
He sighed into the phone. “Can’t wait to see you either, baby. I’ll come get you as soon as I can. Love you, Christmas.”
For as long as I could remember, my dad had called me Christmas instead of Noelle. Mostly to taunt my mom. Since she’d been gone, the tease came far less frequently. I guess he only pulled it out now on special occasions. I grimaced at the fact he deemed this situation worthy of it.
“Careful, Dad,” I teased back. “Not sure the boundary between heaven and earth is strong enough to hold her if she hears you.”
“Would that it wasn’t, Noelle. Would that it wasn’t.”
Now that. That was the kind of love I wanted. Needed.
Not some guy who dumps me after a year together without even trying. Not some guy who falls out of bed in horror after touching me.
But, I didn’t think there were any guys like my dad left out there.
If there were, they obviously weren’t for me.
An indignant meow sounded on the other side of the bedroom door. I sighed. Nothing to do but face the music.
Bruce darted inside as soon as the crack in the opening door allowed him. Weaving his way around my ankles, he stopped to sniff my toes and I jumped back. I’d learned that a sniff preceded a nibble. And though many of his teeth were missing, the ones he had left were razor sharp.
I scooped him up. “Good afternoon, Mr. Willis. I bet you’re hungry,” I cooed while scratching him under his tiny chin. “Should we go find you something to eat from the car?”
I didn’t relish going back outside to the car. The cold alone was enough to deter me, never mind the mess.
I carried him down the darkened hallway to the family room, the view through the wall of windows stopping me in my tracks. I stood, rapt, until Bruce struggled to get down. I released him to dart under the couch. A temporary hiding place. Probably one of many he’d already scoped out.
My mouth watered as the smell of pancakes drifted from the kitchen and hit me in the face.
I stopped, pressed my lips together, and dipped my chin to my chest before taking a deep breath. “You’ll be okay, Noelle. Just brave your way through it. Tuck away the pain. You’ve done it before and no doubt you’ll do it again.”
I headed into the kitchen.
Hawk stood with his back to me at the oversized stove, tension radiating from his large frame. Some of my anger dissipated. This couldn’t be easy for him, either. It wasn’t his fault he didn’t want me. I needed to let it go. Didn’t stop the mothertrucking sting though.
“I hope you made extra,” I said brightly.
Hawk turned from the stove, a heavy frown marring his forehead, “Noelle…”
I swung my ass into one of his solid, hardwood chairs. It was surprisingly comfortable. “Yes or no, Hawk?” I replied sharply, indicating in no uncertain terms that I was not down for a discussion.
He frowned heavily before grabbing a plate and turning back to the stove. “You want syrup? Butter? Cool whip?”
“All of the above,” I asserted.
He shook his head. “I don’t know where you put it.”
