Page 87 of A Lifetime of Afters
You are infinite.
Three little words.
Walking to the edge of the river, taking great care not to slip with my precious cargo, I knelt down on the rocks and released the ribbon into the current my mother loved so well. I watched it spin and twirl until it danced away with the current.
“Mama, I’m sorry about the gnomes.”
I swear I heard her laugh.
Chapter Thirty-Two - Christmas in July
You are infinite.
I tapped on his name and began to text.
Hi, baby. I walked out to Carousel Park today. Remember the pony we all carved our names in? Old Man Gillie fixed a plaque to its chest. ‘For Hunter. Ride on, little buddy’. Hunter’s not entirely gone. He lives on in the hearts of all who loved him. And a lot of people loved him, Hawk.
I love you.
He texted me back immediately.
I love you.
He texted me every day. Sometimes he told me what he was thinking or feeling. Other times he focused on me and my day and didn’t want to share anything about his. For three weeks, we talked about everything. Got to know one another on a deeper level without the shadow of grief and guilt.
Every night, he asked me the same thing.
Can you give me another day?
And every night I answered the same way.
I can do that.
I missed him. Some days, desperately. But when I got him back, I wanted all of him.
I tucked my phone into my purse, swallowed my new vitamins, bundled up for the short walk to work, apologized to Bruce for leaving, and locked my door.
Hearing his plaintive meow from outside, I darted back in. “You’re turning into a druggie, Mr. Willis.”
Taking care to close the bathroom door behind me, I fished the catnip from the back of the cupboard and took a generous pinch before locking it away again.
This was the third hiding place. Damn cat could open cupboards and drawers. But he couldn’t manage doorknobs.
Yet.
I sprinkled it over his scratch pad. He walked over nonchalantly, as if that wasn’t what he’d been screaming for, then bumped his little head against my leg.
“Well. If you’re going to be like that about it, I’ll get you a treat as well.”
Five minutes later, I left a silent cat and walked the 200 feet to work.
Lou waited for me in my office.
“Lou, hi! I didn’t expect to see you. Is everything okay?” My words tumbled out in a rush, and I felt the blood drain from my face as I barreled toward her.
She pressed her lips together. “I am most upset with my son.”
I leaned hard against my desk. This could not be happening. I knew he’d gone to their place to talk to them. I swore they’d been understanding.
