Page 28 of A Lifetime of Afters
“I don’t know what his problem is. He says he feels guilt. Apparently, Hunter wanted to marry me at the same time as Hawk started to notice me. He told me he’s had feelings for me all this time but because of the guilt he never pursued me.”
My dad hummed low in his throat. “I guess you showing up at his place forced the issue?”
“Something like that.” I patted my dad on the back and slowly withdrew.
He looked at me thoughtfully, a frown on his face. “I can’t say I’m overly surprised.”
I looked at him in dismay as he ushered me over to the couch before he continued. “When we lost Hunter, we lost Hawkley as well.”
My eyebrows rose before furrowing. “What do you mean?”
“You don’t know because you left shortly after Hunter died, but Hawkley was never the same. He stopped smiling. Married that horrible woman who sucked the rest of the happiness out of him, though he didn’t seem to care. I’d go so far as to say he barely noticed her.”
He cocked his head exactly the way I did. “Later he built that house in the middle of the woods and quit his corporate job. Other than events at Sage Ridge, I barely see him at all. Lou says he rarely goes out as far as she knows. Doesn’t date. At least no one he’s ever introduced to her and Dan.”
I sat silently, taking it all in, squireling the information away.
Finally, grimacing, he continued, “As much as it pains me to say it, if you want him, you’ll have to be patient. Something inside him broke the day he lost his brother, and no one knows why or how or what to do to fix it.” He met my eyes. “And trust me when I tell you, it’s been a frequent topic of conversation over the years.”
He was in pain.
I wouldn’t add to it.
After carrying Bruce upstairs to hide under my bed, I pulled out my phone, and sent a text.
Just letting you know I’m home. Talk to you soon.
Thirty seconds later, three dots began to blink.
How is Bruce settling in?
Relief rolled over me in waves as I sat on the bed and scooted back until my back hit the headboard. Then I lay there on the same frilly teenage girl bed I first dreamed about him, a small smile tugging at my lips, and texted with my first love.
Chapter Twelve - Temporarily
Stretching awake, I giggled,giggled, wondering what seventeen-year-old me would think if she knew she’d be here in this exact same spot, two decades later, still mooning after the same guy.
Thinking about it in those terms...
I quickly swung my legs out of bed before my musings destroyed my good mood. I couldn’t sit around all day thinking about the two hours I spent texting Hawk. Although I totally could, catching up with Harley sounded better.
Body memories assailed me as I walked through the wide, welcoming lobby of The Sage Ridge Resort. Most of them were good, many so damn bittersweet they nearly caused me to stumble.
Memories from before my mom lost her battle. My sweet sixteen. My high school graduation. Weekends away with Harley and Lou to escape the boys. Although, those three usually managed to weasel in on our time at some point. Those weekends were mission impossible for them and they rose to the occasion.
It was here I had my first summer job, and Hawkley was my supervisor. All the girls tittered and laughed every time he walked by. At the time, I didn’t understand the fury those giggles elicited in my gut. By the time he married Diane, which probably took place here as well, I understood all too well.
We gathered here after Hunter's funeral.
After my mom’s funeral.
I winced at the thought we’d gather here for the next one as well.
A couple passed me, arms wrapped tight around one another, grinning into each other’s faces.
“It’s enough to make you want to hurl, right?”
I’d recognize that disdain for romance anywhere. I twirled around with a laugh to embrace my best friend before holding her hands out to get a good look at her.
