Page 65 of Roughing
The Icehawks won in overtime in Vancouver and were on a short flight home to Portland that night. Briggs had a goal and an assist. The team was operating on all cylinders and showed flashes of potential.
After the game, I paced the floor of my tiny apartment. If I’d had a key to Briggs’s place, I’d have waited there to have it out with him.
I was disturbing Heidi, who’d been trying to relax and watch a movie. She never once complained that my pacing made it impossible, but I knew it did.
“You’re really mad at him, aren’t you?”
“Wouldn’t you be? He’s been paying half my rent since I moved in here.”
“I think it’s sweet.”
“It’s controlling and presumptuous of him to think I couldn’t afford the rent on my own.”
“Could you?”
“No, but that’s beside the point.”
Heidi cocked a brow but didn’t reply. Her opinion was written all over her face.
“He’s infuriating. I’m going to chew his ass for this.” I stopped and studied her, and I knew she was holding back. “What? If you have something to say, say it.”
“If I had a guy like Briggs head over heels in love with me—”
“He’s not in love with me,” I interrupted.
Heidi showed rare strength by holding up her hand. “Let me finish.IfI had a guy like Briggs in love with me,I might be angry, but I wouldn’t end the relationship over it. Just set some boundaries.”
“I did set boundaries. I made them perfectly clear. He knows how things were with Gordon. I won’t be ruled like that ever again. To make matters worse, he didn’t admit what he was doing when I outlined the parameters of our relationship, as in he needed to open up and be honest.”
Heidi sighed as if I were impossible to reason with, which was absolutely not the truth. I felt the need to defend myself. “I’m a very fair, reasonable person. He did me wrong.”
“Doing you wrong is cheating on you or beating you or telling lies about you. At least, that’s what it is in my book.” I’d never seen Heidi so adamant. She usually shrank away from conflict.
“It’s also coddling you and taking away your independence.”
“Did Briggs do that? Does he call you or text you constantly and want to know where you are every second of the day and who you’re with? Does he cut you off from friends and family?”
I shook my head, feeling a little ashamed. I resummoned my self-righteous indignation, refusing to take any responsibility for Briggs’s controlling behavior.
I’d clearly expressed needing an open and honest relationship. Heidi didn’t understand. From what little she’d revealed about her past, being abused and controlled by men was stamped in her DNA from childhood onward. I, on the other hand, made bad choices, but I wasn’t a woman accustomed to being in those types of situations.
Heidi watched me warily, her moment of bravery fading with each second that ticked by. “I’m sorry. I should mind my own business.”
“It’s okay.” She was such a sweet, naive child. I had to stop thinking of her as a child. She was around my age. I think it was her size and timidity.
I decided to leave the apartment and go where I’d do the least amount of damage. Plus, I could stew over Briggs’s high-handedness in private.
At a little after midnight, I trekked down the stairs to the lobby to continue my pacing and wait for my man. I expected to have the place all to myself, with the exception of the lone security guy. I walked past where Hal dozed in his windowed office. Not much in the way of excitement went on in this building late at night. He probably needed his sleep. After all, the man was old enough to be my grandfather, and I thought of him as such.
I pulled up short and blinked several times. Remi sat on the couch by herself, definitely in distress.
“Remi, what are you doing here this late?” My anger at Briggs shifted to rage directed at Remi’s mother. Even if it wasn’t a school night, no young child should be left alone at such an hour. She might have her uncle Hal to look after her, but he was currently snoring, and a kid needed their own bed.
The little girl gazed at me with a tearstained face. “I don’t know where my mommy is.” She sniffled and tried to be brave, but tears slid down her cheeks. Her big eyes were red and swollen from crying. She wiped her nose on her sleeve and sniffled.
My anger dissipated to concern. I tried not to show my alarm, but I was alarmed. “When’s the last time you saw her?”
“A few hours ago. She said she’d be back by nine, and it’s way later.” Another heartrending sob escaped from her throat.
