Page 34 of Shootout
“It is. I’m going to ask about a condo in this building, though it might be too close to your brother.”
“It might be,” I laughed wryly.
“Still, the convenient location and view are worth it. I’m getting tired of living with three rookies whose only goals in life are to get drunk and laid, usually in that order.”
“You weren’t like that once?”
“Hell, I was like that until recently. That’s why I thought this living arrangement would be fine.”
“And now it’s not? Because of me?” I had to ask. My knee-jerk reaction to my brother’s controlling nature had set off a series of events that’d not only affected me but seriously affected Banks in a way I hadn’t thought of.
“Not really.”
“Not really?” His admission surprised me, and I assumed he was trying to make me feel less guilty.
“That’s right. Being traded changed me, and I haven’t been in the mood to party since it happened. Our fake relationship merely gives me a good excuse.”
“I’m still sorry for my part in this.” I truly was. I’d fucked up both our lives with one stupid decision and now there wasn’t any easy way out.
“No need to be sorry. I went along with this. I’m just as responsible.”
“You don’t need to let me off the hook. This was my doing.”
Banks turned to regard me, resting his hip on the railing. “I’m good with it.”
“Did the fam give you a lot of shit?”
“Not sure what too much shit would involve, but I’m still standing, so I’d say not. I held my own even though there were a few shaky moments.”
“I don’t know how to get us out of this.” I stared at the lake below. “I’ve really messed things up.”
“Hey, we’re in this together.” Banks moved closer and put an arm around my shoulders. “We’ll take things one day at a time. At some point, we’ll find a way to gracefully exit this relationship with the least amount of damage done to the team and your family.”
“I’m not sure that’s possible at this stage.”
Banks shrugged. His deep-brown eyes looked into mine. He leaned closer. I held my breath. For a second, I thought he might kiss me with my family only feet away and having a clear view of the deck. He thought better of it and pulled back, turning his gaze to the setting sun.
“We’ll get through this,” he said.
“Banks, I’m afraid I’m ruining your personal life.”
“I don’t feel like it’s ruined. I enjoy hanging with you. Besides, I’m reaping the benefits too.”
“How?” I was genuinely curious.
“Your brother hasn’t killed me yet. The guys are grudgingly accepting me, and I’m expecting the longer we’re together, the better things will be with them.”
I blew out a relieved breath. “As long as this is advantageous for both of us.”
“It is.” He slid closer until our hips pressed together. “But we do need to look the part.” He squeezed my arm, and I put my head on his shoulder without thinking about it. My mind slipped back to a time when I’d be standing on a deck like this with Rick. We’d be close together in heart and soul, looking forward to an entire future ahead of us. So much had changed in a year. I’d been reduced to pretending I had a new love interest. How depressing was that? At least this fake relationship took the heat off me with my family. I no longer saw the concerned sideways looks or the pity in their eyes. They truly believed I’d moved on.
Only I hadn’t.
For months, I’d loved a man who’d fallen out of love with me, but I was finally healing. Every morning I’d battled the melancholy sadness of what once was and never would be again. Rick had been the first thing I thought of in the morning and before I fell asleep. But that longing had started to fade slightly. This past week, Banks had occupied my thoughts more than Rick. Maybe I was grasping for something on the rebound and using Banks to move on.
“What’re you thinking?” Banks studied me with concern.
“Nothing,” I said quickly.
