Page 52 of Shootout
“You guys were on fire. I managed to catch all the games on replay since I was working when most of them were played.” She shifted the conversation, and I didn’t blame her. She’d told me more than expected, and part of me rejoiced that she trusted me enough to open up, even a little.
“There’s a definite confidence going on in that locker room. Too bad about Rush.”
“Really unfortunate. He might miss the entire season.”
“Oh god, I hope not.”
We were quiet for a moment as we considered the possibility of a career-ending injury and how traumatic it had to be for a guy like Rush.
“Your line is starting to gel,” she said finally.
“Axel and Cave are. I’m the odd man out.”
“Cut yourself some slack. Chemistry takes time.”
“I know, but we don’t have time. The pressure is on, and I feel it. The Sockeyes gave away a lot to get me, and I’m not proving they made a good choice.”
Jessie tilted her head and kissed my cheek. “You’re more critical of yourself than anyone else. Don’t you have five points in four games?”
My heart did a little happy dance. Maybe all wasn’t lost. Maybe she really didn’t think our time on the Zamboni was a mistake. Or perhaps I was just reading too much into an innocent kiss.
“I guess.” Talking about my game had me out of sorts. Not all of it had to do with my new linemates. I missed my brother. I missed our long chats dissecting each game and discussing how to make ourselves better. Jessie was offering to be my replacement for my brother, even if temporarily. I respected her game and her knowledge. For the next twenty minutes, we cuddled while I spilled my guts about my loneliness, the pressure to perform, and missing my family. She was a sympathetic listener and easy to talk to.
Now if I could only get her to open up to me as I had to her. I wanted to talk about us, try to sort out my feelings, let her know I didn’t think sex with her was a mistake or meaningless. I was confused and fighting my emotions every step of the way, but my emotions were winning.
I didn’t know what the fuck I wanted, but I wanted more.
Doris stopped at our table, expertly balancing two plates of food. She zeroed in on me with eagle eyes, looked at Jessie, and back to me. She slid our plates onto the table. She gave me a pointed look and snickered, then strode off whistling, “Another One Bites the Dust.”
ChapterNineteen
LONGING
~~Jessie~~
Iwatched Doris leave our table and turned to Banks, puzzled by Doris. “Is she always like that?”
“Yeah, who can figure her out?” Banks avoided my gaze and concentrated on the burger in front of him.
“What is she getting at?” As if I didn’t know. We’d been playing our parts too well, so well, I wasn’t sure anymore where the acting ended and the reality began.
Banks didn’t reply right away. Finally, he lifted his head and met my gaze. He appeared troubled. “About that—”
“Hey, mind if we join you?” Geneva stopped in front of our table with Axel at her side.
“No, not at all,” I said quickly. Grateful for the interruption. I was afraid to hear what Banks had to say. He’d looked so serious. Either he was going to end this, or he was going to take it to the next level. I didn’t know which one I preferred.
Banks recovered quickly and grinned at his linemate, striking me once more with how handsome he was. When he smiled, small lines crinkled in the corners of his brown eyes, causing my heart to skip a beat. I’d been reacting to him in curious ways ever since I’d first laid eyes on him. I never thought another man would be able to make me feel all gooey inside with just one glance or smile, but Banks could. Either my heart was susceptible to charming men, or something deeper and more disturbing was happening here.
The less I was alone with Banks, the better. He wore my resistance thin. Geneva and Axel were a welcome distraction from the sexually charged air of confusion swirling around us.
I was the one who’d put an end to any further sexy times on or off the Zamboni. I’d cited the “don’t do casual sex” argument, the not-ready-yet argument, and the “let’s not let this get messy” argument. Looking back, none of those arguments seemed valid. I was wavering, questioning my decision. I was afraid, fearful of putting myself back out there and getting hurt again. The alternative was to protect my heart from further damage and uncertainty sleeping with Banks would be sure to cause.
Like the gentleman he was, Banks had accepted my decision, though I suspected he’d pounce on any hint that I’d changed my mind. Part of me was disappointed he wasn’t more insistent. Convincing me to throw away my convictions and stifle my fears wouldn’t take much, but I doubted he realized that. Every minute with him was a struggle for self-control. I’d love to see what sex with him was like someplace normal, like a bed.
Axel slid into the booth next to Geneva and quizzically gazed from one of us to the other, the same look Doris had given us. Were we that transparent? His gaze swung to Geneva, and they exchanged one of those looks that couples in sync with each other used to communicate.
“Are you sure we aren’t interrupting?” Axel put his arm across the back of the booth and relaxed. Despite his words, he didn’t seem the least bit concerned that they might be interfering.
