Page 29 of Shootout
“Because of Rick?” I jerked back as if he’d slapped me. I hadn’t seen that coming. “What do you know about him?” Rick was definitely a sore subject. He’d asked for a break, and I’d taken him at his word. Only his version of taking a break had more to do with breaking up. I’d waited patiently for him to come back for months before I realized he’d moved on. I’d yet to recover, even though it’d been almost a year. He’d been the love of my life, and I still loved him, would always love him. I wasn’t sure I’d ever love another guy the way I’d loved him. My family had fretted about my inability to get beyond him, and this fake relationship eased the pressure they’d been exerting.
“Just what your brother told me.”
“Shit. I’m going to murder him.”
Banks merely stared at me, and I was confused by his reaction. Why would he care that I hadn’t mentioned Rick?
“He’s old news,” I continued.
“According to your brother, you’re still in love with him.”
“That asshole.” I slumped down onto a bench, unsure how to respond. I’d been unwilling to give up my dreams for a future with Rick. They’d become a part of me, like tying my skates. I still recalled the good times and had nightmares about the bad ones. How pathetic was I?
No wonder my family was enthusiastic about Banks. Even though Jason didn’t share their excitement, I’m certain he was thrilled I’d finally left Rick behind, as he’d done to me months ago. Only I hadn’t, and now we had one more reason to maintain this farce of a relationship for longer than planned. The universe was conspiring against us, and I didn’t see any way out.
“I…wouldn’t say I’m still in love with him.”
Banks studied me so closely I squirmed. I felt as if he saw right through me, deep down to the real person lurking there. “What would you call it then?”
“We’d been together for a few years. He played college hockey at the same college I did. We met our freshmen year and dated off and on until we graduated, then things really got serious. After college, we both coached hockey at the university. A few years later, Rick took a job as an assistant coach on a farm team hours from the college. That’s when everything started to change. As often happens with relationships, we started to stagnate and grow apart.” Or so Rick had told me. I hadn’t felt that way. I’d thought everything had been wonderful.
I’d kept in touch at first and waited for him to come to his senses. Instead, he eventually quit taking my calls, and I got the hint. I did the only thing I knew how to do when life got me down: I poured my heart and soul into hockey and only hockey.
“Did he have someone else when he broke it off with you?”
“Not that I know of.” I swallowed around the lump in my throat. If he hadn’t then, he did now, according to mutual friends. Talking about him was like taking a knife in the heart over and over again.
There was so much more to my relationship with Rick than he’d ever know. Banks’s kindness hit me right where it hurt, and his sincere sympathy was the final straw. Much to my horror, tears streamed down my face, and I began to sob. Banks drew me into his arms and held me while I blubbered against his shoulder. He stroked my hair and murmured nonsense into my ear. It didn’t matter what he said, but his soothing tone eventually calmed me until nothing was left but hiccups. When they finally subsided, I pulled back. Glancing around the empty rink, I was grateful there weren’t any stragglers hanging around to witness my meltdown. Something like that would get back to Boris and be one more nail in my coffin as an ill-equipped, emotional female.
“I’m so embarrassed.” The humiliation of losing my cool stung my face, and I met Banks’s concerned gaze.
“Nothing to be embarrassed about. It’s obvious you still care about him.”
“Have you ever been through this with a woman?”
He didn’t have to consider his answer, he blurted it out immediately. “I’ve never been close to a woman to be hurt like that, and I don’t get serious enough to hurt them like Rick hurt you.”
“You’ve never had a broken heart?”
Banks scratched his chin. This question seemed to have thrown him more than the last one. Then he grinned. “In third grade, I was in love with Minnie Trader. I gave her a plastic ring, and she threw it in my face.”
“That’s all you’ve got?” I teased him, feeling a little better after my embarrassing emotional outburst. Rick might’ve been the love of my life, but I’d picked up those pieces and made my career my focus rather than my personal life.
He shrugged. “I guess so. My heart’s pretty much intact.”
“You’re lucky.”
“Wanna grab a bite to eat? We can discuss our game plan.”
“I can’t tonight.” I could, but the less time I spent with him, the better after last night. Obviously, my body had no problem getting naked with him. I hadn’t been with a guy since Rick, and I wasn’t one for casual relationships. Never had been. Tell that to my lady parts.
“What time is dinner, and what should I bring?”
Nice change of subject, I thought. “Just bring yourself.”
“Okay.” He hesitated as if he wanted to say more but didn’t know where to start.
“I’m sorry I’m cramping your style. This won’t go on for much longer.”
